will i ever find the balance
that i am never prepared for?

how do we stop to smell the roses
if time keeps walking so fast?

when was it when i started wishing
for non-chalance again?

will there be a day where you give up and start changing,
because you wished too hard for things to stop changing and they never did?

will there be a day where you stop changing,
because you got tired of changing?

if a flower ever weeps
would its petals be its tears?

if a flower ever waited,
what would it have waited for?

if i ever see a shooting star here,
would you see the same one with me over there?

should i wish for time to slow its pace or walk faster?
wish i knew.

story of the three droplets

within the little pandora box of our little water faerie, lay a droplet of pure gold and a droplet of pure silver.

the cross path between the very first shooting star that landed on our earth and the dew drop of the very first morning gave rise to the essence of this silver droplet, henceforth its shine emanated was one of brilliant brightness, white in its purest form and a healing aura the depth of the deepest oceans.

the golden droplet was from the very first ray of the rising sun of the very first morning and found under the most melodic moonlight; for the moon of the past sang such hopeful hymns once upon a time. for this, the golden drop brought forth the most fragrant fragrance and the sweetness of the sweetest honey.

these two droplets tug gently at her heartstrings to lift them up whenever she feels down and soothes her slightest heartaches, if any. they were so precious to her, she held them so close to her heart and treasured them deeply.

the stars told her that there would be a third droplet of liquid crystal, essence drawn form the very first snowflake that fell on the earth and one that would take an eternity to form, under the most delusive lake at the ends of the earth.

there would be swan waiting patiently on thin ice above the lake, the single swan who would know where in the lake rests that liquid crystal, the most beautifully dimensioned and perfectly formed crystal, overflowing with warmness.

the swan awaits the single lady to find it and set it free
an eternity it has waited, an eternity it will continue to wait.

water faerie suddenly opened her eyes and lay down beside the spring.
she gently rests her fingers on the surface on the waters and felt puzzled when she did not see the ripples she expects to.

she leaned forward to take a closer look and to her amazement, she saw the most magnificent swan looking down at her from the reflection. she trace out the form of the swan and paused, when she saw the tear in the eyes of the swan. when the drop of tear finally fell, ripples appeared on the surface of the spring, and the swan was replaced by her own reflection in the waters.

water faerie felt her heart ached tremendously at that very moment, for no logical reason and she missed that swan terribly.

if only those who keep giving will never grow tired of giving.
if only those who receives, will appreciate and be thankful.

too many take for granted
too many ask for justice
too many hold overly high pride
too many mind too much
too many place themselves too central

too many lost that happiness within their reach

happy are those who give but do not realised they are giving.
for once you start realising, its seems to be near impossible:
to not mind at all
to not measure a bit
to not judge
to be true
and to give unconitionally

if love is all that important, why at the heat of the moment will anger overpower love?

yet unless you are certain that you can live a life totally void of love, otherwise giving up trying to love when you are created to love will not bring happiness. just because you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, doesn't mean you have to turn and head back to the other extreme end of this tunnel.

the world is only as bad a place as you made it to be.
the world can also be as nice a place as you wish it to be.

between the line of self-delusion and bitterness, i choose hope.
though there exists the difference between happiness being guaranteed,
and happiness being found in 'hoping' itself.

how would you ever know the beauty of sunrise, if your aim was solely for morning to come faster?
how would you ever know the beauty of sunset, if all you dread was the falling of night and the passing of a day?

time can be a frightening concept.
see how it brings out both the beauty and ugly side of a person within that split second in which human nature was put to the test.
see how it both tears people apart and build the bridge for one to reach the other.
see how you surprise yourself.

the hems of her skirt brushed along,
countless rows of bushes of thorns.
a rose among the thorns, the maiden saw, and pause.

knees on petals of the now ailing rose,
struggling and fighting, to stay.
in the final moments, the maiden uttered a short prayer.
her wings she flapped.

she looked back and, shed a tear.
but who was to know,
how much she had hoped this rose would have seen,
beauty of the world around,
and not the lone world of the thorns surround.

a strong gale, a mighty gust and,
some dancing petals.
the butterfly smiled.

little water faerie saw what looked like the mane of a lion amongst the bushes and decided to go closer. "hi there! are you a lion?" she asked. but the lion simply stared at her and look away. she would have liked to befriend the lion, if only it was less filled with pride, they probably would have become friends.

this day, water faerie spoke to a seashell on the beach, the beach only she knows about.
she waited for the sun to set this evening. it was a quietly, long sunset.

hello.
i am just a small pebble lying on the sand.
i have been lying here for many many years.
when the tide gets strong, i occasionally gets washed upshore.

hi.
i am just a tiny pebble lying on the sand,
where people walk me by.
some of them stops, picks me up,
and throw me back into the sea where i come from.
and once again, i remained submerged in the ocean waters,
till the next strong wave comes.

hello.
i am just a small pebble, lying on the sand.
i see the sun every single day when i open my eyes,
and just before i close them, that's when i see the moon.

hi.
i am just a tiny pebble washed upshore.
i've been lying on the shore for many many years.
good day and nice to meet you.
countless of people walk by me, walk on me or sat with me.

once, a little girl saw me and held me in her palms.
(she probably mistook me for a sea shell.)
she whispered to me a simple wish, which i shall remember for very very long.
(you see, i haven't quite forgotten it yet).
i tried to talk to her,
but she can't seem to hear me.

is it always so, between us and you people?
but she was a nice nice little girl, nonetheless
and it has been pleasing to meet her.

hi.
i am a small pebble lying on the sand.
it has been nice meeting you and,
good day.

as water faerie strolled along the rose bushes today, she heard some rather light fluttering of wings. as she turned, she saw seven beautiful butterflies surrounding her. she saw that each of them was in a colour - red, orange, yellow, green, turquoise, blue and violet, as they circled her thrice. the violet butterfly rested on her wings while the others flew off. a while later, a white one flew towards her and rested on her wings too, before flying off with the violet one. "how wonderful, and interesting!" thought our little water faerie.

the curious case of benjamin button is one movie i will never forget.

by far one of the most aesthetic film with the most beautiful story in years such that i can't help but love every single thing about it. every piece of music in each scene simply swayed me along the passing moments of time in the theater. wonderful wonderful feeling. which continues to resonate even after the second time watching it.

because nothing is truly forever, hence some things are even more beautiful.

story of a single white rose

roses aplenty, none she fancied.
what haughty heart has she!
what guarded heart she has!

day by day,
the queen of whitros sat by her window, waiting.
thinking about a single white rose -
that single white rose.

a perpetual smile she hid,
beneath her rosy cheeks.
the cheeks that were faintly marked,
by some of her very tears.

yet all she truly missed,
was but that single white rose;
that single white rose which she once saw,
atop a lonely mountain.

that single white rose had chosed to reveal its petals during the darkest hour,
on a cold winter night;
that single white rose hadn't shudder or shiver,
amidst the cold, thick snow.

that single white rose had remained standing,
against the howls of gales and gusts;
that single white rose that lasts an eternity,
yet wilts at the very moment plucked.

that moment she held it in her hands, she knew her heart was claimed.
she left through the door of doors and was glad to be back alone.
for that single white rose will never be the same if she hadn't left it there.
hence, there were no regrets.

she was glad for
that single white rose she had fancied,
she will always love,
till the end of time.

as the waning moon takes its resting position for the night, little water fairy took a stroll by the quiet beach; the one she alone knew the way to. squatting on the sand, she began to doodle idly. unknowingly, she had drawn a rather huge ring around herself. she crouched forward, with her folded arms resting gently on her knees, and begin to ponder about the recent spate of events.

that split second where she had looked up was all that was needed for the glowing light source to catch her eyes. she saw for the first time there and then, on that small island some distance away, fireflies dancing! the soft and warm fluorescence dissipated by the ring of fireflies took her breath away and left her in awe for a long time - she had never seen anything so beautiful!

yet, this wonderful sight still wasn't enough to make her wish for time to come to a standstill...

if i could turn back time,
i'll never want to see things more than they are and deeper than most can see it.

if i could pause time,
i wish i'll never have to grow up.

if i could fast forward time,
i wish that you'll never find me and we'll never meet,
for when the day comes for us to be apart,
i'm not sure if i can find the strength to walk on.

i'm only a simple fish who yearns for simple happiness.

story of a little fish.

for she was born of love,
hence she was made to love.
she finally realised that she cannot stop herself from caring,
however burdened she feels, for she was created to be so -
the very day she begins to exist.

this day, our small fish found her cross.

this day, there was an earthquake in the nearby shores where our little fish lived. her small pond was badly shaken. her small pond was where she had happily made her home in, since she swam here some time back.
yet this very day, she heard about this other fish which did not managed to escape from the fateful earthquake and, lost his life.

this day, when she heard the news, she watched other fishes swim by her as if nothing had happened, preoccupied by their own tiny problems and going about their daily business. she heard them brush it off lightly, she heard them joke about it briefly. she didn't understand why she felt so deeply for the poor fish when she hadn't even known him, while others never did.

she couldn't see why other fishes cannot see, that right in front of them, was a fish who swam so hard to reach this little pond, only to find himself being swept off by the single tide he couldn't cross. and what he lost thereafter were countless precious moments which could have been used to build and store beautiful memories in his lifetime.

this day, fish began to question herself if she could ever be like a normal fish at all - with what went on around her, her lamentations were for the loss of an unacquianted fish?! fish began to hope that she could be as non-chalant, or just take it lighter, but she simply couldn't.

this day, fish wondered why other fishes did not see the same world the way she did -
that they all perhaps ever crossed fins once with this fish, who now will never again swim in the same ocean as they do;
that one day, it might be a fish whom they knew, who couldn't escape from another earthquake;
that this fish may have wished to turn back time and swim far far away from this fateful earthquake or pond, but there could never be a 2nd chance for him to choose;
that this fish will never get to say goodbye to his beloved fishes in his true home again.

this day, fish asked herself is she truly wanted others to see the same world the way she did.
she wished they never will.

for only when a fish is focusing on his/her own set of problems, will the problems of other fishes become manageable for him/her. and only when a fish solely cares about how he/she feels, will the emotions and pains of other fishes become much more insignificant, and bearable.

this day, our small fish found her cross.

draw a circle on a pristine beach,
to confine yourself within.
then, step out.

it is still the same beach,
with the circle still on the sand,
and, you are still you.

the world outside the circle hasn't change a bit.

eventually, its is us who have the ability to confine ourselves to stay within non-physical boundaries. yet, we are also the ones who could free ourselves from it.

a bubble and a fish

once upon a time, a small fish lived in a shiny and pretty bubble.

people outside the bubble worried for the little fish. some feared the bursting of her small little bubble one day, while others felt sad for her, for in their minds all they saw was a trapped fish.

but in truth, our dear little fish never really minded. because only she could see the world through her small little bubble, how special! and, she was rather pleased with everything she saw, for they were beautiful. though again she can never be sure if the vibrant colours were from the world itself or her special little bubble.

but she don't really need to know, does she?

there are times where she would wonder quietly what would happen if she ever bump into another bubble one day.

once, she tried crossing a thin bridge spanned across a valley, and it was then when she finally realised that there are just some things that will remain complicated and tough, whether u are inside or outside a bubble.

what are the chances of 2 persons who don't know the existence of each other finding each other on this very same earth at the very same time?

what are the chances of them meeting, if 1 chooses to hide?

... characters of the exact scene can tell so much sometimes.

on the stage, some play a character out of fun, some play it to help a friend. some simply play it to see how certain character suffers according to the scriptwriter.

some gets thrown into the act unprepared, others think of ways to get onto the stage. some play it willingly, some think for a long while to decide whether he/she will sink too deep into the play.

some wonder if some characters are really as simple as they look. some question the effects on the audience and each character after the play.

resounding applause -

what comes after the drawing of the curtain (for each character)?

what an interesting play. isn't life the stage and things that happen to us different acts of changing scenes? interesting play. what marvellous actors and actresses have we - or are we?

story of a small leaf...

once, a small leaf fell into the waters.
it thought nothing changed except that it was wet, on one side.
yet it didn't see the ripples beneath its back.
and hence, it didn't know where they will reach -

if they would cross paths with other ripples or, stop somewhere.

the small leaf didn't know, hence it did not wonder.
it remains contented,
just lying on the waters and being a small leaf.

what ignorant small leaf,
what a blissful small leaf!

initially, the graph of self awareness followed the trend y = 0.1x. however, after a certain point along the x-axis (age), the graph became an exponential function. and i denote this critical point of transition by (self-centredness, selfishness). its formula being "everything is about me, period."

irritatingly, you observe that its the same case with everyone (most people) around you. and even more annoyingly, you realised your own graph is beginning to shape like this as well. and you totally detest this actual becoming of this type of "someone" whom you never liked and would never want to become. argh. totally (O_0) annoyed and irritated.

thank god for the certain few good souls around me that are not like this and don't make me feel like this either. whenever did voicing out become so important to people all of a sudden? why do i feel such a strong distaste to be around people who always speak but seldom listen? could it be because i am also one of them, hence the existence of 2 dominant species?

yet i can still feel the sense of harmonised comfort when that few good souls are around me - our turns to talk and listen are simply so well balanced? i don't really want to listen, therefore i do not want to speak. or perhaps, i don't really want to speak to you, therefore i don't want to listen to you?

but why the want for a response or an acknowledgment? why is it so important to be heard? because you can't find the right person to give you 99% of the right responses you expect to get? perhaps i am biased because i had always been listened to. yet why are there just some people you simply enjoy listening to and sharing with? affinity? play of emotions, mood?

how exactly do you stay unbiased and non-judgmental towards individual speakers? still find this extremely challenging and tiring - to be a nice and good person and at the same time stay true to your thoughts and feelings. sometimes, somehow the guilt following your want for being carefree without attachment just wears you out. can one ever get the right balance, and, even if one does get it one day, will happiness then be guaranteed?


balance.
life is about.
all.

on the wall there was a tiny little crack. if u paid enough attention, it will be spotted. but similar walls were everywhere, and the walls just keep getting taller so that they can feel the wind and that so other walls will not block them. it ended up with every single wall becoming taller and taller, constantly being blocked by other walls and blocking other walls - yet they are essentially still the very same wall (with cracks) that conceal but doesn't protects. what strange walls! what dark cloth it was covered with!