"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Monday, December 18, 2006

all of us seem to have different tolerance capacity towards different people? most of us tend to be more tolerant towards outsiders, or should i say to those whom we are less familiar with or close to. i think its probably because of the uncertainty or lack of sufficient confidence in us to gauge the personality and possible reactions of them. in fact, the closer we are to another person, the more we expect out of him/her in terms of understanding whatever we are doing.

the first step to understanding another person is therefore largely dependent on whether both are on the right frequency. and this, in turn depends on the personality of both. in order to become closer, we need trust and for trust, there must be a certain level of knowledge and ability to roughly gauge the person's thinkings and views even before they are expressed. but more importantly, the person must have possessed a comforable frequency which we think we can tune in to most of the times. i guess this is what EQ is about... but this is not what's most important.

i believe fate is. cos it will be seriously hard to find people with similar frequency to us in this not too big yet not-small-either-earth. then both have to dare to take the 1st step, trust, wiling to put in effort in friendship and finally there must be a right timing for some events to happen such that both can go through together to strengthen the bond and eventually have some hurdles appearing so we know what to react in future when similar scenarios surface. (see, i don't really believe in smooth journeys without ups and downs because once there is one, we will not know how to face it.)

well, i guess that's probably why its getting harder to get a good friend as you grow older... people just learn to be more protective of themselves and trust less easily. haiz...

Friday, December 15, 2006

can one be optimistic and prepared at the same time? cos if you are prepared, then u probably already thought of the worse scenario that could happen and hence make yourself ready for it. but if you are optimistic you will probably think of the bright side no matter what happens? hmmz. so what does it means by hope for the best but prepare for the worst? sounds wierd. how can you have both kinds of thinking at the same time?

anyway recently i realise that actually a lot of unecessary work and trouble are caused by certain misunderstandings where people refuse to clear up... so when people get some parts of the story, they began to come up with their own links, judgements and conclusions which when told to a third party cause even more confusions and complications. some times you can really be amazed at how creative people can get and how they manage to remember certain tiny bits of things from 10 yrs back.

maybe the people who can live a simple and happy life might not have been born simple afterall... they are just more able to forget and forgive much faster than others do, that's why they seem so free of trouble. so far around me, i have only seen one person who can do that. hopefully i can learn such skill fast enough. :)

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

actually, how many people in this world are sure of the kind of life they want to lead? there'll be a group who does not expect much from life who says that after all life is just a passing phase and when its over, all the things we used to own and fought so hard for won't even stay with us for eternity... so what's the point? ... hmmz make some sense. but what about those who say that life are not meant for us to waste away? like if we lead a life without a goal, a dream, an ambition, we are not living life to its fullest? what kind of a goal and ambition are truly living life to the fullest?

aren't most people's goals in life to strike rich? but so what about being rich? apart from being able to do what you want within the reach of the riches, what aims in life come after that? so for all who attain their goals vey early, have they lived their lives to the fullest yet? or they should continue to have another goal, one after another? what about the people who have a goal which they can never attain? like? haha... world peace? haha. then are they never going to complete their lives? what about those who dream to be somebody or be in a certain profession but when they are who they think they want to be and realised that its not what they want afterall? will life ever be completed?

there's only the few ten-years in life that we spent to carve out a niche for ourselves and if what we carve is not what we wanted? re-carve and spend another few ten-years? or worse, if we never have any dreams to begin with? carve what? life is wierd. people say its like a dream, like a drama, a passing phase, a journey, a game. so many varied forms to so many different people? to me, life is like changing seasons, different people just enjoy at varied times, the springs, summers, autumns and winters and then enter another realm? my dream in life will be to go around the world and see how different everyone's life is like, to enjoy cuisine, to sightsee and relax.

but what if i never attain this dream? what if i attained this dream and still have lots of time left? what will be my next dream? hmmz... i don't really know. life can be quite boring because certain phases in it are expected and predictable. like study - work - marry or stay single - die. boring huh... then again, it can't be helped. :( don't quite get it when some one says to another person you complete me... means if the two of them are no longer together they are incomplete again? divorce how? they shatter into pieces? haiz. life is complicated. yeah... it is boring and complicated?! life is full of contradictions lah! maybe life was meant to be simple and boring. but it became complicated because of man and yet still boring. but how else can life be interesting if for everything we do there'll be a day when we become tired of it?

maybe life is just life. just that people like me sometimes tend to think too much. haiz. :( maybe i am too hungry. better go eat breakfast. done enough mind exercise for now. wahaha.