"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

if only time could come to a stand still this moment.
then nothing more would happen.

appears for one single dance and then kind of really just vanish after that. that would have been kind of the perfect setting. looking at just that glimpse of a second, and strictly nothing more after that. feeling free of any thoughts just for that moment itself and that will be enough. for me.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

really liked this song in twilight. the tune. the setting. the scene. the atmosphere. the dance.

Flightless Bird, America Mouth

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, American mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, American mouth
Big pill stuck going down

Monday, January 12, 2009

is having a hope and then losing it totally better than never having it in the first place?
can we say so for some other things in life? like love?
to never have found true love at all is definitely better than to find it and then lose it one day?

to experience both sadness and joy and never forget either or never to know at all how it felt having them?

there's so much more to see and learn in life. can one go on forever thinking that life is just the beginning for them?

twilight. new moon. eclipse. breaking dawn.
how can a love so intense, so strong last for eternity and yet coexist with happily ever after?

too good to be true.
too hopeful to let go.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

sometimes its only when you don't know where to look that you find it.
life's lesson just has to be taught in the most innovative way.
hah! life.

Friday, January 9, 2009

just when you thought you've looked deep enough, it just gets deeper.
just when you thought you've thought wide enough, it just gets wider.
just when you thought you've had enough, it just wouldn't stop.
life. amusing life. but perhaps not the one living it.

its been quite a while since i last remembered about the pandora box which lay quietly, deep down on the floor bed of the springs.
but its fine. the key is not with the box.
the ripples across the springs are temporal. that i am sure.

it will stay shut. for that i am certain, for i had already forgotten where i put the key.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

water fairy stood by the seemingly young tree. a small tree without doubt, yet all the more she revered it, for its beginnings were rooted in the very first days of the earth. she taps once, and then knocked twice before she affirmed it was hollow. her heart sank, without warning.

looking up, she reached for a deep emerald-shade apple hanging just by the outermost branch to her left, and tugged at it gently. she sat down, leaning against the tree and tossed the apple between her hands. she wondered for once why she had been so taken by it before, and why she wasn't as fascinated now, though the apple did not look a tiniest bit different - sparkling, tempting since the very first time she had set her eyes upon it.

she slowly raised it to her lips, the light crunch startled her a little. a tear had escaped and trickled down her cheeks at that very same moment. she was puzzled, for she did not understand why, for she was feeling truly peaceful when the tear had slipped. a sour and bittersweet apple. the aftertaste lingered on a second longer. how interesting. the taste was definitely more memorable than she intended it for, unlike any taste she has had before, in fact. she wasn't sure she liked it, neither was she certain of taking another bite so she looked at the apple intently, her gaze was so deep yet faraway that, if you look into her eyes at that exact but fleeting point in time, you will see nothing, and nothing only.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

existence of the abstract existence.

what exactly is the evidence to prove existence exists? memory? flawed. since everyone remembers things differently, as with the way they look at them. even more flawed if existence is distant, since a large part ends up relying even more on the way of and the different people who interpret the very memory.

so let's say if trust varies proportionally with the consistency of memory, which varies consistently with the number of people remembering anyone or anything in particular (that has ever existed before), then, if we don't trust humanity then we can never trust the concept of the existence of anything outside our time frame and space dimension totally.

and so, if you ever have forever in your hand, you can actually create the existence of infinite 'anyone's and 'anything's as long as you are able to alter memory. so essentially, memory is so easy to mistrust, easier than anything else in the world? taking into consideration the fact that human beings are not exactly the most trustworthy species to start with.

then again, given time frame restrictions, what might be the point of ensuring and remembering the 'existence' of someone or something seriously, if there is no way to change or undo anything about them in the first place? history.

i am never less-fasincated with it no matter. the ultimate source of some truly wonderful and exciting stories and imaginations, and which never have to really come true to bring amazement, fun and even joy to the ones creating them as well as the ones listening to them. most of the time though, the more you are able to believe such stories and imgainations can exist, the more enjoyment you derive.

why is escapism necessarily bad if it brings nothing but a moment of sheer happiness? no one said that happiness has to be eternal or else it would be useless, for the very group of people who said that, they probably would have contradicted their very selves immediately?

if we can dream something into existence, by working really hard at it, then can we dream a person into existence too? or it hugely hinges on our interpretation? i.e. if certain dreams are able to exist in reality, so let's assume that we believe very hard in the existence of a soulmate, our very own soulmate. would then the person really exists?

and then what if i earnestly believe in his existence, yet i also sincerely believe that we will never meet? can something or someone that doesn't exist be as important or more important to us than any random person who already exists in our life, simply beause of the very notion of hope he brings along with him?

like so many things,
so many things exist.
i realised that i don't need to meet my soulmate to make sure he exists.
i just need to know he does and he will.

neither am i sure i'll ever want to meet him
for we are all born simple and content.

trading in the certainty of never finding yourself complete again if we ever lose each other one day just to feel what completeness is, is just requiring more courage than i think i have. serendipity, nonetheless. life is larger than finding our soulmate? just like the concept of happiness coming in more than one form.

rich and complete happiness versus the simpler happiness, perhaps for now, i'd want nothing else except the simpler. if we were never offered options, would we really stay happy the way we had been till forever?

Friday, January 2, 2009











leap? no.
don't want to start things on the wrong step.

don't want to start anything at all.

not now. really.
like it when my plate is empty.

people are so funny.
i am so funny.

peter pan...
could he really stay so happy after wendy left?
would he change his mind...
if asked again to choose

nonsensical blabberings.
don't mind me.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

anne sullivan. teaching a child to see the world and learn about it in her own way.

the miracle worker.