"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Sunday, January 27, 2008

life is so full of contradictions and complications it can be so tiring, really tiring. why can't things be straight forward? why can't people flash what they think across their foreheads? though i guess if they really did, more complications may occur. the longest distance is indeed from our heart to our brain. its a sudden realization on my part now that one can seriously get exhausted by thinking too much. anyone know how to stop that?

when can i get an answer? wherever is the finishing line? wherever is the start line? where do i stand? am i even in the race? can i stop contradicting myself? can i stop thinking so much? can i stop getting affected? can i throw in a white towel because i don't want to play this game anymore? i didn't even sign up for this game. this is so unfair. so not fun. so tiring. can you please blow the whistle? can you please make an announcement? can you hear me? can you stop being yourself? can i stop getting annoyed and angry at myself? will the race ever begin? i don't have an answer - do you?!

helplessness was never a good feeling.
feelings are never meant to be controlled.

this is the first time i wish i can be colder.
the effect is unexpected and really wearing me out.
i am tired, i really am.

how long more can i wait?
how much more can i take before i do something?
that i may regret?

i don't know - do you?! you most probably won't too. you are too you.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

you caught my eyes from amongst the stars and you didn't know...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

In a perfect world
One we've never known
We would never need to face the world alone

They can have the world
We'll create our own
I may not be brave or strong or smart
But some where in my secret heart

I know
Love will find a way
Any where we go
I'm home
If you are there beside me

Like dark turning into day
Some how we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way

I was so afraid
Now I realize
Love is never wrong
And so it never dies

There's a perfect world
Shining in your eyes
And if only they could feel it too
The happiness I feel with you

They'd know
Love will find a way
Any where we go
we're home
If we are there together

Like dark turning into day
Some how we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way

I know love will find a way

Thursday, January 10, 2008

recently a friend of mine told me something that got me thinking a bit... how good a person is also means how bad the person can get... hmm... so how bad a person is probably also means how good the person can be then?... something like how much your intensity of loving someone equals the capacity you can hate him/her in return? in any case, is it better to start being bad or good first? can someone really be good from the start till the end? as in really really good to everyone that kind... how do you know if you are being nice because of habit or really being nice because you want to be nice? won't a good person ever get tired of being nice and stop or like meet with some drastic changes in life to become extremely bad?dunno. i think good or evil is just a thin line away. thinking something bad but not executing it... does it necessary mean we are less evil? is there somewhat a link between being yourself and being self-centered? is there a connection between living for others and putting others before yourself? can we genuinely do that? its like what if one day you were to choose between your life and maybe the lives of 20 other random ppl you don't know when you just found the one right for you? what if the choice was between the life of your true love and the 20 other random ppl you can choose to save? greater good? or be selfish?

... brings me to the discussion of the definition of love. like a scenario where you can love someone so much that you are willing to forgo your own life for that person and then one sudden day when you realised that you are betrayed by the person and you can refuse to forgive that same person for the rest of your life? same person... different timings and thus fate. does love include forgiving? or simply at the end of the day, everyone still love themselves the most? hmm hmm.