"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

one day, fish came across this song which cannot be more apt as to the situation she is in right now...

一眼之念 一念执着
quiet guy.
最好不见 最好不念


Thursday, February 23, 2012

not your eyes.

today i realised its not your eyes. there's more than meet the eyes. which is not good, which is simply bad. march should end as soon as it can. i never had much rein on my heart. and i don't think i ever will. i wish i could close my eyes to what i see about you and in you. but each time i closed my eyes my mind reminds me of what i've already seen and the feeling of helplessness overwhelms. i want to run but where can i go? i like you but i hate this feeling i can't control. and i need You to stop sending nice people like him into my life if nothing is going to happen again. there's only this much i can take. so why are you testing me like that time and again? what do You want of me, Lord? what?

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Saturday, February 18, 2012

the casting of lots.

"hopelessly romantic and idealistic dreamer fish, you shall be destined to feel and dream more than you'd ever wished for. this shall be your blessing and your bane, for seeking that horizon which is within your sight, but never within your reach."

it is a solemn promise of always putting the other person's interests above my own.
it is something simple because you simply need to give your all, yet never easy because of the multitude of internal struggles.
it is the symbol of strength through weariness.
it is that 20 seconds of insane courage required to overcome the fear of the aftermath.
it is the certainty that you want more than friendship with this someone.
it is finding someone you are sure you want to spend every moment of the rest of your life with.
it is a choice that happened first by chance.

and things become even more impossible when you are a fish who is shy, slippery and too timid to do anything about the crazy thoughts sprouting in your romantist's mind.

yet a tinge of melancholy has always been that which makes life bittersweetly beautiful.

love and hate this part of me, which is so significantly representative of myself. can't stand it.
青花瓷 ~ Jay Chou

冉 冉檀香透过窗心事我了然

而妳嫣然的一笑如含苞 待放

炊烟袅袅昇起隔 江千万里

月 色被打捞起晕开了结局

临 摹宋体落款时却惦记著妳

帘外芭蕉惹骤雨门环惹 铜绿

天青色等烟雨 而我在等妳


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

She never told her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i'th' bud,
Feed on her damask cheek. She pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like Patience on a monument,
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

little fish was happily swimming in her own world until one day she swam upon a serene shore and came by a pair of sneakers. she was surprised to find this pair of shoes in the middle of nowhere, just lying by the waters so peacefully - they weren't brightly coloured or loud, just white and simple.

and it was their simplicity that simply caught her attention.

she swam ashore, sat by the waters and begin to examine them. it was a pair of white-coloured sneakers, with beige shoe laces - perfect for someone in a simple white dress! she gently slipped her left foot into the shoes first, and then her right - they fitted so comfortably! she strolled along the beach and danced a little while.

under the gentle moon beams, they seem to glow a soft white light.

she'd never want to take them off if she could. yet she knew that this pair of shoes probably belonged to another, for they did not whisper her name when she put them on. but she liked them nonetheless, something she can't explain. like, just like. really like. like how she would like to tread the paths of a hundred different places with this pair of shoes, like how she would like to run and jump and dance in them, like how she would like them to whisper her name and let her know why.

and when it was time for the tides and waves to send the shoes away, she reluctantly slip out of them and place them back where she found them.

yet the memories of her wearing the shoes just kept coming back at her. much was left undone, words were left unspoken. she wondered deeply if she would feel the way she felt, for any friend, or there really was something more? yet she really had only worn it for a short while, so how can she feel such sadness and worry when she watch them float away so bravely, to the shore they truly belonged? and how can they simply float away with this part of her that she didn't agree to let go in the first place?

while her mind calmed a little thinking of the closure,
her heart ached a little thinking of the distance.

she will always miss this pair of shoes of hers, no matter where they float to, however short while she wore them for. the footprints they left behind, and the sand beneath her shoes would all be washed away by the water one day. but she knew that grains of memories shall always remain a part of them.

goodbye shoes, be well, be brave.

if we shall cross path once more, may the one who owns you then truly be deserving of you, and may you find happiness with her, the happiness which fate and time had not in stored for us at the moment.

goodbye, shoes. i will miss you. very much.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

in the quiet midnight forest, the sky thief offered a toast to the milky way.
as silently as he entered, he quietly exits.
he had stolen some stars and left them on my path.
with them, he buried a fragment of himself in my side of the sky, deep beneath the clouds.
yet as the sun rises, shall a new day dawn.
and when the sun sets, shall his stars light up my sky.
and i shall smile.
but he shall never know.