today i realised its not your eyes. there's more than meet the eyes. which is not good, which is simply bad. march should end as soon as it can. i never had much rein on my heart. and i don't think i ever will. i wish i could close my eyes to what i see about you and in you. but each time i closed my eyes my mind reminds me of what i've already seen and the feeling of helplessness overwhelms. i want to run but where can i go? i like you but i hate this feeling i can't control. and i need You to stop sending nice people like him into my life if nothing is going to happen again. there's only this much i can take. so why are you testing me like that time and again? what do You want of me, Lord? what?
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