"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

love. a dissection

“to love at all is to be vulnerable. love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. to love is to be vulnerable.”

'love', best summed up by C.S. Lewis.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

the 10th year, 12 days late.

a voltex of kindred spirits,
an old soul by the window.

the yellowed willow billowed -
a serenade by the canary.

in her mind palace an empty throne sat.
time slowed, eyes closed,

zugzwang

Thursday, November 3, 2016

the selection - a thought.

the selection novella.

despite its predictability and typicality, kiera cass accurately illuminated the hopes of (i dare say 90%, if not all) ladies when it comes to the notion of love.

its protagonists, america singer and eadlyn schreave, both expressed characteristic traits that are highly relatable by majority of the female gender in my generation especially - independent, thinking, afraid of getting hurt, and enjoy our freedom a little too much to settle for the fleeting notion of 'love'.

while both protagonists did not exactly consciously look for 'love', they somehow managed to stumble upon it under a series of unbelievably coincidental circumstances. afterall, if a guy of maxon schreave's calibre were to turn up in my life one day, confessing his unconditional love for me for simply being who i am, and not bat an eyelid to take a bullet for me - i'm certain there's no way i will be able to resist his charm.

here's the catch though - neither 'the selection' nor 'maxon schreave' exist in real life - and i am well aware of this. perhaps for me, at the end of the day, i'm just waiting for someone to remind me of this song by chantal:

"somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
there's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

if you knew how lonely my life has been
and how long i've been so alone
and if you knew how i wanted someone to come along
and change my life the way you've done

it feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
it feels like i'm all the way back where i come from
it feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
it feels like i'm all the way back where i belong

a window breaks, down a long, dark street
and a siren wails in the night
but i'm alright, 'cause i have you here with me
and i can almost see, through the dark there is light

well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
and how long i've waited for your touch
and if you knew how happy you are making me
i never thought that i'd love anyone so much

it feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
it feels like i'm all the way the back where i come from
it feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
it feels like i'm all the way back where i belong
it feels like i'm all the way back where i belong"

and if one day he ever decides to appear in my life, i hope for two things - that i will at least notice his presence, and maybe, just maybe, be brave enough to jump.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

all.around.you.

a true leader leads by example, not by making remarks at the side; instructions will naturally be taken seriously when respect is earned. when you manage, you don't just lead, you serve. either you reject that path altogether, or do a decent job, because with great power comes great responsibility.

when you lead, how you carry yourself matters; every single decision you make no longer affects just you, but everyone under you. people look up to you for solution and direction - communicate frequently with the people you lead, preempt problems, not wait for them to occur then tackle. stay grounded, but plan ahead.

don't expect perfection from everyone, appreciate and encourage the positive things that are being done rather than see yourself as a critic. motivation can be killed, but it can also be nurtured. there is a distinct difference between being realistic and being overly critical, be mindful of the latter.

speak your mind freely if what you say is constructive, for i consider neither eloquence nor the lack of tactfulness a virtue.

you have the freedom to do whatever you want, as long as your happiness is not built upon someone else's inconvenience. you don't need to go all out and be selfless. but it would be good if you can just have the basic consideration for others.

sometimes, all you need to do is to think of what you can do within your own means then do it, period.

Friday, August 5, 2016

endless

wishes and desires entwined,
swirling currents.

bubbles.
she drowns? she lives?

dreams and beliefs conjoined,
fingers brushed against the utopia rim.

strong, the magnetism.
dark, the abyss.

endless struggle,
her two natures.

sojourn.
she passes? she fails?

she walks on.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

chess pieces

on the board
chess pieces scattered
invisible threads attached

from opposing ends
two master puppeteers played
making the right move at the right time is crucial

an experienced resistant and a radical new bird,
each with their own set of strategy
each with their contemporary set of temporary loyalists

sacrifices are expected,
losses did not matter; no one was indispensable.

nothing mattered as much as winning.

the foot soldiers stood silently from a distance
watching, waiting.
wondering when it'll be their turn to be the next pawn.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

aye aye captain!

a nice ark used to sail in the vast ocean;
many storms it has triumphed,
though it rocked from time to time, it fitted everyone snuggly.
it felt like home. it was home.

though there were times where the sea was rough,
the ark felt sturdy enough to last through it all,
because everyone on the ark was of one heart, and understood that they will all eventually get to the same destination together one day.

however, it came a day when everyone suddenly found themselves in separate boats,
and each boat began competing against one other,
trying to reach the destination ahead of the rest.
i just can't help but wonder, at the end of the day, 
what purpose does it truly serve, if your boat is faster, or mine?

when wooden planks of sunken boats surface one by one,
would one then question, if the change was really for the better?
or would one then be too clouded by fear of when one's turn would be?

for if a captain's role is solely to point to a location on a map, then anyone can be captain. and googlemap would do an outstanding job.