"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Thursday, June 25, 2009

you closed your hand,
you waited.
you counted to 10.
and then you opened it.

all to realise its no longer there.
flown far away, i guess?
quietly, so gently.
elves, faeries and magic spells -
castles in the air!
you see that?

that, is a thing of the past.
sweetly bitter and bitterly sweet were never quite the same.
dance, on a hilltop filled with chamomile flowers.
hear the bluebells ring.
see the swallows weave through the clouds.

then lie down on the pasture once more,
and slowly drift away,
to that faraway castle in the air.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

time and season for everything.
meaning and reason for everything.

wait and see.
learn to wait and see.
learn to wait.

learn to see.

just as things would never stay clear always,
so will they not remain forever shrouded.

explain, if you wish to be explained to.
save the explanation, if things can't be changed.

some people get it, some just don't.
some don't cos they can't.
some can but they never really want to.

some people wait for someone to understand them.
some people didn't even realise they were waiting for this while they waited.

some people are just content with finding one person who gets them.
this one person can be someone in mind.
this one person may be more than one person.
this one person can be someone they don't know too.

fish know this one.
what a contented little fish :)

Monday, June 8, 2009

let's see for a moment how inspiring the recent spate of events are :)
promising. quite.

there had always been some who want to tell the whole world about a particular something. some of these people eventually did, some didn't.

among these are some who initially want to tell the whole world something, but by the time they reach for their phones, they felt that telling half the world would be enough. and by the time they finish their first calls, they decided they were pretty much done.

there were some who go all the way, nonetheless... good stamina.

fish belongs to the last category, where telling the whole world rarely cross her mind. for any matter, its either important enough to share with just that few particular fishes, write it down in one of her journals (using her fins) or to simply continue thinking about it for a while more then forget about it altogether.

what a self-acknowledged lazy fish.

fish had never really enjoyed listening to some other fishes. but she definitely prefers that to babbling about her own stuff to other fishes who either lack the patience or are of a different wavelength altogether. for she was rather certain that would be quite a waste of time. and, she doesn't really want to subject the other fishes to what she's going through cos she really doesn't enjoy that.

it has always been easier to look as if one's engaged than to try and engage another, particularly if one feels like being neither, no? fish would also ask lots of questions too, just so she need not answer any.

she once tried to really follow her heart and be by herself, but every now and then some other kind and nice fishes (who doesn't know fish well enough) would swim to her and try to talk to her.

therefore one day, just like how social caterpillars start flapping their wings. fish concluded that in order to not let some other fishes worry about her too much, she should still blow some bubbles however much she doesn't feel like making them.

and only when she's surrounded once again by fishes who truly know her well, can she finally be the fish she is. see why fish feels proud to acknowledge the autism in her. and see why deep down, fish still never like new circles, particularly big circles, the smallest bit.

some mingle, some stay at a corner.
some wait patiently just to be understood.
some don't really want to be understood,
some don't really need to be understood.
some decided the fence is indeed quite a nice place to sit on.
some look forward to others filling up their space for them.

and some continue to enjoy swimming in peaceful waters.