"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Thursday, May 21, 2009

each time when small fish meets some other fishes, there's always the distance issue... how close should they position themselves in relatve to each other?

too far away and the fishes can't seem to see or hear each other too clearly. yet being too close, when there's nothing much to be said and done, things get awkward.

therefore it has always been more energy- and time- friendly for small fish to be just by herself, away from the fishes whom small fish is not too familiar with, or whose frequencies varies from that of small fish's, such that no need for spending extra effort to make sure things appear less awkward.

fishes are pretty much fine being just by themselves, aren't they? or perhaps this fish is just in her autistic mode.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


today small fish experienced some stuff that made her think more on some other stuffs and then she also begin to wonder if thinking more will ever make a difference, cos if it doesn't, then what's the point of thinking so much? then again, she realised there's no point in not thinking so much either, cos that being part of her nature usually doesn't happen.

so this fish continues to think and wonder for a while and pens down her thoughts, which may matter, and which may not matter.

there are some people who do things just for the sake of doing them while others try too hard to find the meaning and reason behind certain things, that they miss the point in the end. in which for both cases, fish don't really see any point.

then there are some who tried to find stability, but who never realise that stability itself is a form of relativism. then there's this group of people who realises this, but still couldn't find the stability they were looking for.

there are some who should have devoted more of their energy to try and make things happen. yet there are some who tried too hard and so hard that they didn't even realised that they are human beings too and have the right to feel tired.

some people believe they can do it so they did it. but if some people believe that certain things are not there, then they are not there, then why the need for believing in things not being there in the first place?

sometimes, because importance is found behind a series of unimportant things, people begin to wonder if unimportant really is unimportant and who ultimately determines the importance of things eventually.

sometimes because people don't know some things, life is always simple. but what if the person knows there's more but does not push? can life then still be truly simple? or will it be a life that only appears to be simple? and yet, both the person who does not push and the person who does not tell can never know if life on the other side is truly simpler.

some people are busy. some people try to be busy. some people have to be busy.

some people need the experience. some people just need to observe and reflect. but yet it is also possible for both types of people to never truly learn the same real thing at the end of the day.

people tried to see the world through a pin hole. some thought they saw the whole of the world and some thought they only saw parts of it. some rushed inside, some chose to turn away. some opened the door but hesitated about stepping in. some leaned on the wall and wondered. some get their answers eventually, some just doesn't. and all these while, the door of life remain standing quietly.

how does one ever find the right pace in this race of life?
maybe a more appropriate question should be if our small fish can ever find that right pace in the currents which she swims in? i wonder.