"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Friday, February 22, 2008

hmm hmm. i guess recently we are all just tired bah... had a long long nite out with meow last nite... impromptu and random again... i guess this week hasn't exactly been going too well for us both... but somehow the time we spend together never fail to lift up our spirits at the end of the day. really really like this feeling... the feeling of knowing someone actually knows me so well and me knowing the person equally well, this feeling is simply rare and must be cherished at all costs.

i guess its called warmth. really thank god for my this best friend. he seems to have somehow arranged in a way such that there'll always be an angel whom i can turn to whenever i need one... gen used to stay just a few blocks away before she went aust and then meow had to shift down from changi to pgp to be so near me... its like there'll always be someone close to me within reach and i really love and appreciate this feeling.

there's no point in asking liars anything because you simply can't tell the truth and false apart, and it'll tireth you. you may, however, look into their eyes and, feel sad for you realised, perhaps they had lost the courage or strength to reveal themselves. perhaps hurt, perhaps protection. perhaps time. and you wonder if you should feel happy for them for having this ability in the world today. but this is one skill that i'll never wish i learn.

the eyes, the soul and heart of us... its sad when you either look into eyes that are shut from the inside or those that stopped shining altogether.

its always the happy people that people like to hang around with. maybe its because people already have enough burdens to themselves. never liked clowns since young... somehow just gives me the feeling of surface happiness, trying to cheer up everyone when they may actually feel so sad and tired inside. smile when its not genuinely from the heart is pointless and devalued, yet so often used. you can really laugh off a friend's jokes and mean it but yet you don't exactly feel like laughing at all. i guess that's why its called humor. is each of us a clown or its just us having a clown in us deep down?

our mind is simply amazing and wondrous. i love my mind's ability to create through drawing and writing but it seems to come with the package of over-thinking and the inability to stop even though it knows its supposed to. nevertheless, a controlled mind can never create... and i accept this.

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