"i'll like a drop of rainwater refracting light...
and a dash of illumination across the endless dark too."

Thursday, January 5, 2012

times when she wished she weren't a fish.
how can her heart just slipped away like that?
how can she lose her rein just like that, after she tried so hard to tighten it?
just like that.
how can she be blinded just by that few moments of connection,
which probably didn't mean anything to anyone except her?
if nothing has yet begun and she's already feeling this much, just what happens if anything really happens?
how can anyone understand the crazy and irrational intensity of the emotions she feel?
who can?
she'd all along been the one who laughs and cries with others, who can identify with and feel the emotions of others.
but who can truly feel and understand what she feels now and then tell her what to do?
and who can help wake her up and make her believe this isn't real?
sadist fish who can't help it. 
why can't things speed up so she wouldn't have time on her fin to dream?
why can't she just stop weaving little stories in her mind?
fish, why, so torn?
fish, why so sad?
fish, why so helpless?