sometimes fate, timing and chance are really really crucial to people-people relationship in general and yup friendship too. you can spend lots and lots of time with someone without understanding him/her. you can also spend very little time and know someone a lot. it all depends on how much and how long it takes for both the person and you yourself to open up i guess? it also depends on a lot on how trusting both sides can be? if both sides are the kinds that will trust only if the other side trust him/her first then it will be a long long wait.
for me, the best way to understand anyone is through asking about the feelings and thoughts on certain things that has happened, is happening or will happen. rather than taking it personal. its a fine thin line and i don't deny that taking some things personal might be a much faster method just that it just doesn't feel right for me to just say things that might cause some bad feelings if the person involved hears about it. somehow talking about experience and events in general seems more ethical? lol. dunno lah.
perhaps i was never too good with words so i like playing games and cracking lame jokes more? as in there is clear winning and losing and no one gets hurt in person in any way and everyone will have fun... so why not? when you play somehow you don't have to guard against anyone psychologically too... so its relaxing in general?
but then again, i realised that a lot of people especially nowadays like to test the amount of trust and closeness of each other through talking about a third person in general. its like if you happen to be able to talk about another person with your friend, it shows that you are somewhat closer to him/her than the person whom the two of you are talking about? it seems quite harmless as long as the person being the topic doesn't hear anything about it... but i just can't put my finger to where it seems wrong to me?? but its really quite tiring to know where to draw the line to give your opinions on anyone in particular. trying hard not to hurt yet maintain a amiable relationship with friends who bring up the topic... not easy... at all.
opening up somehow also depends on which position and place you are to each other... once the position is clear, lotsa stuff are so much easier? i realised most of us are actually really not bad at hiding our silent observations and thoughts about others. that's one thing. a lot of us can really be good silent observers and impress at the right time when the occasion calls for it. that's another. dunno whether that's a good thing or not?
wonder if you ever had friends who like you a lot and can play with and have so much fun with and somehow you like them but you just know deep down you are different? and there's another group where you know that you simply are the same deep down and yet find it so hard to open to each other and get close to? maybe because of some ideologies shared that are simply far too similar. how contradicting? but maybe its just timing and fate. having a common beginning helps much. really.
for me, the best way to understand anyone is through asking about the feelings and thoughts on certain things that has happened, is happening or will happen. rather than taking it personal. its a fine thin line and i don't deny that taking some things personal might be a much faster method just that it just doesn't feel right for me to just say things that might cause some bad feelings if the person involved hears about it. somehow talking about experience and events in general seems more ethical? lol. dunno lah.
perhaps i was never too good with words so i like playing games and cracking lame jokes more? as in there is clear winning and losing and no one gets hurt in person in any way and everyone will have fun... so why not? when you play somehow you don't have to guard against anyone psychologically too... so its relaxing in general?
but then again, i realised that a lot of people especially nowadays like to test the amount of trust and closeness of each other through talking about a third person in general. its like if you happen to be able to talk about another person with your friend, it shows that you are somewhat closer to him/her than the person whom the two of you are talking about? it seems quite harmless as long as the person being the topic doesn't hear anything about it... but i just can't put my finger to where it seems wrong to me?? but its really quite tiring to know where to draw the line to give your opinions on anyone in particular. trying hard not to hurt yet maintain a amiable relationship with friends who bring up the topic... not easy... at all.
opening up somehow also depends on which position and place you are to each other... once the position is clear, lotsa stuff are so much easier? i realised most of us are actually really not bad at hiding our silent observations and thoughts about others. that's one thing. a lot of us can really be good silent observers and impress at the right time when the occasion calls for it. that's another. dunno whether that's a good thing or not?
wonder if you ever had friends who like you a lot and can play with and have so much fun with and somehow you like them but you just know deep down you are different? and there's another group where you know that you simply are the same deep down and yet find it so hard to open to each other and get close to? maybe because of some ideologies shared that are simply far too similar. how contradicting? but maybe its just timing and fate. having a common beginning helps much. really.
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