sometimes people get so independent they can live on their own perfectly.
sometimes they forgot to depend on others once in a while and take a break.

measure too much and lose the chance to change some things.

let's begin with a platform.
the beginning of the measure of distance.
it brings people together or away?

without a platform, a non-existent distance, a non-existent closure. distance?

look just at the surface, just look at the surface.
the prettiest and, most of the time, the many layers beneath are not.
peel off layer by layer, perhaps you find something more beautiful -
perhaps you don't.

emotions are so powerful a form of energy they break or build man. literally.

gauging another's vibes can never be easy since they may very well be trying to get hold of their own vibes at the same time. how can you describe a shape of something that has none?

stepping out is just the embracing of unpredictability.

if life were taught as a module, what would its exam format be like?

that fine morning, our little water fairy and shairnra got their fair share of adventure.

pulled off by excitement-bubbling shairnra, they stealthily crept into the garden of edeeairn. evidently left unattended for eons, still, it was not at all hard to imagine how beautiful this garden must have been once upon a time.

sitting in the very center of the clearing was a forgotten wooden swing - exquisitely crafted was the wood, born of no ordinary fire. great flight rose from and with nothingness, as power.

they saw a trail left behind by the tail of a dragon and knew for sure they had to follow. through the walk, they felt cooling wetness, though they were dry, and their siouzli were refreshed the very instant a drop of nothingness splash onto their lips.

one never really gets to enter a different world where melodious enchanted bells ring every now and then, even though you are from the magical world itself and yet, when the time to leave arrives, nothing can make you stay a second longer.

water fairy had the urge to drop a slipper, had she one on her, just to feel how it was like when cinderella rode off on the pumpkin cart from the palace. she wondered if there was a prince in this quiet world in the first place.

and finally this was it. time had came to claim them. water fairy had had a surprisingly rolling good moment, unexpectedly, and was truly fond - of this little adventure of hers which managed to brush her mind off her quest.

a bright and cheery shairnra took a short walk with her, and soon, the spring was once again filled with just the calm breathing of our little water fairy. it seems like the portal of time had opened the constellation guide for her - another of the stars' many gifts to her. water fairy simply gazed.

resounding in her heart the melodious enchantment of the bells playing.

sometimes things pass us so fast i wonder why we struggled so hard and sought after them in the first place.

can one really live with memories alone?
how much memories are needed to make one feels there is no need of more memories?

memories are there to sustain one's happiness - contentment or living in the past?
from memories, come yearning?

i guess memories pass us fast too.

tortoises and ostriches.
shells and the ground.

human sometimes are
not very different either.

self recognition...

people who are trying real hard to gain the recognition of others, consciously or subconciously, usually are the ones who failed to give recognition to their ownselves essentially.

human beings.
once again.

why ask for an answer
when you already knew what i would say

she heard some footsteps. could be them. she hurried behind a row of trees, finding herself colourless once more, blending in. carefully, she wipes her tracks off the ground with a simple wave of her hand and a small breath of air. as the group rode pass her, for a moment, she thought she saw someone familiar among them - someone who looked exactly like herself. it wouldn't be, would it? she occupied herself in thoughts of different possibilities, even after the party rode some distance. it was daybreak when she finally got on charlotte and continued riding. she must get to the treeling fast. everything will come to light then, for sure. the treeling will know. it will have to. but for now, she should get some rest. it has been a long journey. and, she needed the stars to guide her way.

water fairy ploughed on, despite the creepy silence, along the still waters that are as reflective as freshly wiped mirrors. carefully she lifted a drop of dew on a small white daisy and tasted it lightly. dawn is near and time is leaking away, she sensed it. at this instant, she heard a drop of water trickle and saw a mist shrouds a treeling near the end of the stream. could this small tree be the one she seeks?

time for a battle soon?
i guess.

passion ceases to be the crux,
time for determination and perseverance to take over.

long route ahead.

stallion; i'm sure she would be a very fine one -
and, i'll name her Charlotte.

this morning, november woke up to a wet morning.
there's nothing more she love waking up to,
other than the refreshing scent of rain.

its seems eons since october
last went to the library to live in a story.

she miss this feeling so much.

yesterday.
october chaired the last meeting.
people who were at the table simply didn't know where to draw the line.

they may know how october works,
but they are totally clueless about october's thoughts.
friends.

yeah. say that again.

- on growing up -

oh ya. just realised i'm 2 years 3 days late...

but still,

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY BLOG! :)

sometimes people just want to fit in so badly
they miss some line
they lose themself

but did they, in the first place, want to fit in
so that they can find themself?

sometimes people try so hard to disprove themselves in order to prove some things to themselves
there is a need to prove yourself to yourself?
don't exactly see the logic but i guess that's just part of the contradictions life hold for us?

ever see people trying so hard simply to amaze others
ever see people trying so hard to pretend so as to impress others more
ever see people trying so so hard, just to be the person they want to see themself as

little do i see people liking who they are right now.
today little water fairy felt a little restrained by the human mind.
her heart is so big,
her thirst for knowledge so unsatiable.
there are so many things she wants to learn about - every single thing under the sun,
and if she really have the time and chance, she would.
but she doesn't.
there's so many things she has yet experience,
the world seems so huge and a lifetime seems so short.

is there anyone who can really finish learning everything he/she wants to learn in a lifetime?

does having no expectations in life really guarantee a happier life?
can a life that is meaningful have no expectations?
if you can't fulfill the expectations set, what's the point of having them in the first place?

thought about this. recently. inspired by some people. around?

some people clearly have what it takes to lead but are not ready.
some are afraid of leading, because they are not sure of meeting the expectations of a leader they set for themselves. perfectionist?

some can lead but hesitate, since there'll always be another more capable leader elsewhere.
but there really might be, so,
where's the line drawn between humility and ill self-confidence anyway?
how do one know if its a need to lead or a want to lead?
some leaders mind too much what others think, some cared too little.
it never seem easy. to find the balance.

some prefered to be led, some prefers to lead.
some followed,
willing to trust another in leading,
willing to give the chance to others to lead.
or didn't want to take responsibilities of failure.

and so, if one leads because others told him/her to,
he/she might have what it takes,
but at the same time,
lacked the most important factor of all - the courage to lead.

can he/she still be a good leader then?

its never easy. really.
perhaps the first quality for a leader is really to judge soundly and don't bother too much about some uneccessary thoughts.

the safest way is always to follow? really?

if one didn't wish to lead and neither to follow?

loner? selfish?
maybe i'm under this category.
so yeah. time to swim more carefree-ly and tone down, rising leo.

sometimes people lie so as to pretend to be someone else.

are you who you want to see yourself as or who you want others to see you as?

are you where you want to be?

or where you think you'd be happy but am not?

too tired.

to say much.

need some rest.

last lap. how many are there again?

so many things i want to do. but time just doesn't play along.

i am picturing a big comfortable, thick soft layer of mattress and falling into a deep deep slumber on it, dreaming of a land faraway with everything i love. i would run barefooted on endless fields blooming with flowers of all colours. i would stroll through jungles filled with tall trees and swinging branches, with forest animals. i would swim in the clearest springs. i would weave through fishes in the ocean. i would sing and dance on top of mountain tops and look down. and when night falls, i would lie on the same patch of grassfields to gaze at the stars, every single one of them and make out their constellations. then i would dream again.

today,

water fairy realised for once,

simple, bland boring life may really, really suit her.

when things are stable and predictable, so what about having fun?

she wonders if this meant her wings will stop to grow soon.

even if her wings were to continue growing,

will she ever take flight?

wonders our water fairy.

sometimes, keeping things to oneself may give one the strength to go on.

other times, it may tie in with how you want to look at yourself - noble.nice.principled, to be blatant.

defending a decision made may not have been bad.
but wrong approach used in trying to tell someone who mean something to you would be.

no one will understand if you keep everything to yourself.

if your aim is to build a family, then doing everything yourself will not work.
expecting others to give you unconditional support without knowing what's going on will not work.


in a family, you should never have to walk alone.
in a family, there should never be "no need for explanation" - if you truly want the best for everyone.

water fairy realised something today. okay, fine. some thingS.

that there are certain things that you should never get yourself involved in before you are sure.

like sometimes you have to stop yourself and draw the line until you are sure the level of comfort is there for the other person. even though you know most part of the story and the person also probably knows you know too. there's always a better topic, especially when you are trying to care for someone you are not exactly very close to.

in addition, water fairy really hopes she can get de-sensitised a bit. although being sensitive means being more understanding, it is really quite a fair bit of guess-work and lots of unnecessary think-work constantly too... so it can be quite tiring for the mind, hers especially. :S

i guess that's why she enjoys being alone by herself sometimes. so she can stop guessing and thinking what others might feel and if there's anything she must do or say or avoid saying or doing to make them feel better...

what makes it :S is when people gossips to her and she tend to feel for the subject but she can also understand from the gossipers' point of view, their feelings and yet at the same time can never figure out why can't they can't do the same for the person they talk about. and the worse thing is she is not even involved in the whole event. so... ?! (she definitely prefers not to be involved!) but the main point is when she cannot see the positive side of human spirit in things, she just find them meaningless.

then again maybe she should stop caring. so she wouldn't have this problem at all.
as if its in her.

all in all, being alone is definitely a way to find peace for the water fairy :)

this is in her.