Tuesday, November 28, 2006
... to me there is only one kind of love that is truly unconditional in this world. its the love our parents have for us.
other types of love will involve self-interests no matter what. our parents will love us no matter how we've changed and forgives us no matter how many times we might have hurt them. other types of relationship might turn sour as soon as one has changed or in some cases, when one refuses to. but no matter how we change, our parents still love us the way they do in the past. so i can safely say that our parents not only love the way we are, they also love the old us and the new us. so whenever i come across a book about how much a certain character loves the other i will be thinking whether the love will be as strong if in future that character changed for the worse and keeps hurting the other party.
if other kinds of love that can match our parent's love for us, maybe there wouldn't have been so much divorce, break-ups and so little of true "friends-forever" friendships.
maybe part of the reason is that we are all becoming increasingly self-centred and perhaps some of us are afraid getting too close to others as we are clearly aware that once we do so, we are more proned to getting hurt in the case of a mistrust. this may also be because we put a value to too many things in life, hence we have become overly concerned with our own interests, gainings and losings - in other words simply, we have learn to be over-calculative.
then again, maybe another reason why we don't want to get too close to another person may be because we are able to predict what might be the outcome if we do. i believe we usually have gone through certain considerations before we draw the circles of defence for friends that we have made... knowing that some of them are the safe ones whom we can share our most genuine feelings with. these considerations probably include the characters of our friends to a large extent, whether they are the ones who can be there for you and at the same time will not be over dependent on you or over independent such that their shoulders are strong enough for you to lean on and yours to them.
it may actually be tiring to either keep sharing your problems with a friend and never get to listen to your friend's problem because you might start to wonder if that person trusts you as much as you trust him/her. similarly it may equally be tiring if a friend doesn't know when to stop doing so... friendship might just strain if one party keeps thinking he/she is the unfortunate one and so you must always be there for him/her, listen to her problems and give in to him/her under the pretext of being "understanding and considerate" without knowing that sometimes he/she is the one who isn't.
maybe its best that people who wants their relationships to last knows how to manage and maintain a degree of independency and dependency. it also goes a lot to explain why funny(humorous) people tend to have more friends as they are able to lighthen lots of problems and reduce them into managable ones. (even though they might not be so in reality.)
Posted by a fish that dreamt a world away at 8:08 AM