life is so full of contradictions and complications it can be so tiring, really tiring. why can't things be straight forward? why can't people flash what they think across their foreheads? though i guess if they really did, more complications may occur. the longest distance is indeed from our heart to our brain. its a sudden realization on my part now that one can seriously get exhausted by thinking too much. anyone know how to stop that?

when can i get an answer? wherever is the finishing line? wherever is the start line? where do i stand? am i even in the race? can i stop contradicting myself? can i stop thinking so much? can i stop getting affected? can i throw in a white towel because i don't want to play this game anymore? i didn't even sign up for this game. this is so unfair. so not fun. so tiring. can you please blow the whistle? can you please make an announcement? can you hear me? can you stop being yourself? can i stop getting annoyed and angry at myself? will the race ever begin? i don't have an answer - do you?!

helplessness was never a good feeling.
feelings are never meant to be controlled.

this is the first time i wish i can be colder.
the effect is unexpected and really wearing me out.
i am tired, i really am.

how long more can i wait?
how much more can i take before i do something?
that i may regret?

i don't know - do you?! you most probably won't too. you are too you.