all.around.you.

a true leader leads by example, not by making remarks at the side; instructions will naturally be taken seriously when respect is earned. when you manage, you don't just lead, you serve. either you reject that path altogether, or do a decent job, because with great power comes great responsibility.

when you lead, how you carry yourself matters; every single decision you make no longer affects just you, but everyone under you. people look up to you for solution and direction - communicate frequently with the people you lead, preempt problems, not wait for them to occur then tackle. stay grounded, but plan ahead.

don't expect perfection from everyone, appreciate and encourage the positive things that are being done rather than see yourself as a critic. motivation can be killed, but it can also be nurtured. there is a distinct difference between being realistic and being overly critical, be mindful of the latter.

speak your mind freely if what you say is constructive, for i consider neither eloquence nor the lack of tactfulness a virtue.

you have the freedom to do whatever you want, as long as your happiness is not built upon someone else's inconvenience. you don't need to go all out and be selfless. but it would be good if you can just have the basic consideration for others.

sometimes, all you need to do is to think of what you can do within your own means then do it, period.

endless

wishes and desires entwined,
swirling currents.

bubbles.
she drowns? she lives?

dreams and beliefs conjoined,
fingers brushed against the utopia rim.

strong, the magnetism.
dark, the abyss.

endless struggle,
her two natures.

sojourn.
she passes? she fails?

she walks on.

chess pieces

on the board
chess pieces scattered
invisible threads attached

from opposing ends
two master puppeteers played
making the right move at the right time is crucial

an experienced resistant and a radical new bird,
each with their own set of strategy
each with their contemporary set of temporary loyalists

sacrifices are expected,
losses did not matter; no one was indispensable.

nothing mattered as much as winning.

the foot soldiers stood silently from a distance
watching, waiting.
wondering when it'll be their turn to be the next pawn.

aye aye captain!

a nice ark used to sail in the vast ocean;

many storms it has triumphed,

though it rocked from time to time, it fitted everyone snuggly.

it felt like home. it was home.

though there were times where the sea was rough,

the ark felt sturdy enough to last through it all,

because everyone on the ark was of one heart, and understood that they will all eventually get to the same destination together one day.

however, it came a day when everyone suddenly found themselves in separate boats,

and each boat began competing against one other,

trying to reach the destination ahead of the rest.

i just can't help but wonder, at the end of the day, 

what purpose does it truly serve, if your boat is faster, or mine?

when wooden planks of sunken boats surface one by one,

would one then question, if the change was really for the better?

or would one then be too clouded by fear of when one's turn would be?

for if a captain's role is solely to point to a location on a map, then anyone can be captain. and googlemap would do an outstanding job.

which side of the moon?

every time we’re dancing
i look into his eyes
i’m daring him to ask me
he might as well be blind

this side of the moon
i’m with you

we don’t have to be far?
will you be there waiting?

why do you seem so far away today, and the future... even further?



i dare you, quietly.
i dare you now.

dare.

the little princess.

memories, stole away into the night.
moonlight lit the path i trod.
run, so they can't haunt you.

a morphed snake,
its teeth gently grazing my fingers,
there was no pain, but i let it go,
i knew it won't hurt me, and i still put it down.

fairy dust! if there's ever an "if", i wish it was then,
but the me from then would not have the second thoughts i possessed now.

the well, the waters,
the shimmering moonlight.

what would i have done?
time and circumstance was not in our favour,

the heightened sense of fear in staking the calm present for a volatile future,
perhaps i'll never be brave enough to take that step.

she gazes into the mirage of the well,
she relish in the safety of knowing that as long as its all in her mind,
she couldn't be hurt.

no, the feeling of what could have been would never hurt as much as actual nostalgia, nor reality.

she loves the little prince,
for she was 'the' little princess, in every sense.

she is afraid.

once in a while

a bird injures its wings,
a green viper hisses.
a clock chimes,

a star lands.

cos you don't think i know what you've done,

i'm not the only one.

eve bites the apple.

for unto dust we all belong.

fallen?

don't we all. 

rules.

i stared up at the sun,
you can feel the light start to tremble,
take us down and we keep trying,
forty thousand feet, keep flying.

i'm standing frozen,
in a life i've chosen.
the cold never bothered me anyway.

sometimes.

sometimes i run,
sometimes i hide,
truth is, i'm not really sure what i want or what suits me.

drama.life.

the current trend in asian drama series, or most drama series for the matter, tend to revolve around a female lead with seemingly mundane and humble background, yet with a certain set of positive and morally righteous qualities, being sought after by a group of ridiculously outstanding male characters who are attractive and appealing (in terms of social status, economic status, looks and moral character).

in recent years, the female leads have also evolved to be more and more self sufficient, and away from the stereotypical damsels in distress, waiting to be rescued altogether. regardless, the male characters will still irrevocably fall in love with them, and (predictably), she will only give her heart to one of them in the end (often the most deserving one), or end up sacrificing herself in some way to make the story more bittersweet and memorable for the audience. often, the market is saturated with drama series carrying modernized Cinderella plot, some of which so predictable that by the second episode, i have already lost interest in it since i knew what the ending would be. 

i have to admit though, series involving clever plots, schemes and pitting of witty characters against each other are quite my kind of thing; granted in reality, possessing a good heart, sound moral and bravery is not going to get you anywhere, not without intelligence and wits. the 'bad' guys are no longer simple fools who get what they deserve at the end of the day, period. life would teach you that much. the 'good' guys who are faced with tough decisions, who had to come up with ways to counter the wicked plots and schemes without compromising on their moral grounds - these are the ones that truly appeal to me - characters with depth, who are able to remain righteous at the end of the day.

my idea of an ideal couple consist of people who love each other deeply, share similar ideals and moral values, who would not hesitate to sacrifice for each other, or for what the other believes in. it however sucks when they also happen to be such awesome people who would place the greater good over their own interests. this makes them all the more noble, but at the same time, fills you with a tinge of melancholy, since deep down you are also aware that there would undeniably come a point where they would choose to give up their own happy ending for the bigger picture, a greater good. 

an example of the kind of character that appeals to me in a recent drama series - taltal from empress ki. not romantically-linked to the female lead, but he's definitely one who has proven his strength of character and intelligence. he had every right to be arrogant, but remains humble and saves the day quietly each time.

time and tide.

built the wall, closed the door, hid the key. 

an invisible wall, a concealed door, a missing key.

living in a seemingly free dome.

what goes on in your silent mind?

wit. strength. character.

tal tal . wang yoo . seung nyang

what goes up must fall down

sometimes i feel like i can't run, i can't crawl
and sometimes i feel like i ain't nothing at all
life is a journey where you stumble and fall
but i'm okay

outlook.

when tomorrow comes
i'll be on my own
feeling frightened of
the things that I don't know

inside out.
core memories.
islands. 
the forgotten valley.

can't lose what you never had.

can't lose.
game of life.

can't win.

thoughts decompartmentalisation

wanting the best of both worlds... would that be greed or is one just pushing for excellence?

just as how a coin cannot simply possess a single side, one has to embrace the good, and at the same time be prepared to accept the bad attached with each choice we make.

compartmentalizing life brings about organisation and segregation, but the living gets torn.
departmentalization of the aspects of life on the other hand, breeds chaos, yet perhaps unites.

what do you want?

'twas

the looming clouds,
the stars,
the bright apparition,
'twas when i lost you.

the now,
filled with darkness and silence,
'twas when i lost myself.

blinded

stochastic variable.
johari's window.
depths, capacity, fear.

if you can read minds, plant thoughts and manipulate emotions, you can make anyone do anything.

there lies a certain degree of danger, a sense of power, a total possibility of you losing yourself in it all.

sow. reap.

"you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

time is finite though it may seem like infinity.

from the moment you sow a seed to the moment you reap its fruits,
the time in between is spent on building patience and perseverance.

in the process of it all, you build your own character.

scarecrow

bleeding. out.

when the day has come
but i've lost my way around

and the seasons stop, and hide beneath the ground
when the sky turns gray and everything is screaming

i will reach inside
just to find my heart is bleeding

when the hour is night
and hopelessness is sinking in

and the wolves all cry
to fill the night with hollering

when your eyes are red
and emptiness is all you know

with the darkness fed
i will be your scarecrow

oh you tell me to hold on
oh you tell me to hold on
but innocence is gone
and what was right is wrong

cos i'm bleeding out
said if the last thing that i do
is to bring you down
i'll bleed it out for you

for you.

 

orchestra.

symphony,
harmony,
deep resonance.

those notes, they float!
there was nothing,
save a series of coordinated, intentional vibrations.

they lure you into the invisible world,
left you marvelling at the composer's brilliance,
makes you wonder aloud -
the universality of music.

it could have,
it may not,
it happened?

what's left after the ensemble of musicians,
what's the state after the delirious performance?

silence, contemplative silence.
all these, a figment?

for no pictures could convey,
no recordings could conjure,
the lingering atmosphere, and memories were all there were -
fragments of resounding waves.

all there were...

now.

come, follow me into the abyss.

no, i don't know its depth.

once the sea swallows the sun and dusk settles,

the wonders come alive.

 

let's share a dance in the waters,

for we don't know what tomorrow holds,

no... won't promise.

but come,

swim with me.

for all you know, i am a siren.

the daughters of the sea,

they're calling me.

you only have now.