the greatest wisdom of all is to realise the insignificance of man.

recently decided to listen to a song recommended by my friend... the show by lenka

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC76b0VZQog)

found rather inspiring and love the idea of 'life' and 'love' being portrayed as a 'show'.

what a really nice perspective to take on in life, to take everything life brings to you like how you would watch a show... a concept that makes you embrace moments that are rather heavy-hearted with a graceful smile because you get a chance to learn how to move on.

some point in time i believe everyone will eventually reach this point and once they do, that's when the frequency of happy moments increases and wisdom more significant.

guess from long ago ages, man had always been relentlessly seeking life's very wisdom...

a sioux prayer from native american legend...

Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds

Whose breath gives life to the world, hear me

I come to you as one of your many children

I am small and weak

I need your strength and wisdom

May I walk in beauty

Make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made

And my ears sharp to your voice.

Make me wise so that I may know the things you have taught your children.
The lessons you have written in every leaf and rock

Make me strong!

Not to be superior to my brothers, but to fight my greatest enemy....myself
Make me ever ready to come to you with straight eyes,

So that when life fades as the fading sunset,

May my spirit come to you without shame.

bound, by warmth or by baggage?
be freed. the most powerful words you can ever say to yourself.
with grace, give your best smile.

why are things slipping away?
why is the world slipping away?
had i loosen my grip unknowingly?

then why am i slipping away too?
refusal to see any picture.
no big picture, no balance points.

turn away before your heart breaks
walk away, before you no longer smile
use all your energy to wait,
all for a better tomorrow.

often times, the one who can blindfold you for the slightest and briefest moment without you noticing are those who may really not be that simple.

between the boundaries of thinking too much and over-estimating another, there exists a thin line afterall.

the ability to make another feel the possibility of the non-existential sides so very subtly definitely requires skill from one and slightly unthorough thinking on another's part.

relating to another and communicating yourself successfully - an art? a gift? from one's heart or, something slightly darker?

would you mind pausing for that little while?
and simply breathe just by yourself?
if not, please breathe for me?
or, let me breathe for that little while?

choice.
would it had been easier to make a choice and then pull through the choice you make?
or give up halfway and then blame yourself thereafter?
what about today?
what if you are making me more than i was meant to be?

why do one still get one's plate filled up,
even if one don't go around asking for food?
why do one swallow all these food,
even though one was never hungry?

why do one put one's stomach to the test
just because food should never be wasted?
why can't people serving you see how filled your plate already is and how full you are?
why can't they look for another plate to pile their food?

cos you are simply too convincing in your assuring smile?
cos you are round the corner though you tried to hide?
cos you are too yourself?

cos they never bothered asking you?
cos it was never their concern to know what's going on with you.
cos you think you can take it in the end?
cos they think you can take it in the end?

would you mind pausing for that little while?
and simply breathe just by yourself?
if not, please breathe for me?
or, let me breathe for that little while?

just a little while.

everyone in his or her life lives to find and learn to see the greater scheme of things.
some will see this picture earlier than others, while some may lose sight of the picture somewhere along the way.
it doesn't matter when one starts to find cos it is not necessarily the earlier one starts, the faster one finds.
yet, once one gets the big picture, finding the balance point becomes easier, though it will still be a constant balancing process.
but everyone will start somewhere,
and, everyone will meet some point, if not at the end.

the instant you forfeit your right to choose, haven't you already chosen?

there are some things in life in which you know once you let go, you can never find them back.
and yet, there are also things in life which you have to let go, so you can find yourself.

so what if the very moment you open your hand, you realised you'll regret for life?
and what if you can never really know if you should until you open your hand?

in all wisdom, we should simply grab as little as we can in life, just so we will have an easier time letting go and lesser things to let go of.

看完了整部 《花样男子》，印像最深刻的一幕是在景和智厚的一段对话。

"爱情是跟据欲望而实现的，我和智厚都属于太没欲望的人吧?"

总觉得爱的定义和方式似乎太广了。

是应该不顾一切的追逐，就算对方是因为你的爱而痛苦，只因你坚信能给她别人所无法给她的幸福？但你凭什么这么认为？

是应该小心翼翼地处处都为对方着想，把对方的思想和感受都看得比自己的还要重上好几倍，完全尊重对方的抉择，就算自己的心就快伤到不行了？

爱情到底应该是让人失去自我还是找回自己？
是终于在对方心里看到了自己的价值？
是觉悟了只要对方幸福就好，其它的一切包括自己都不重要？

当你和他在一起却又始终无法找到那个平衡点时，是否意味着这并不是一段属于你们的爱情？

总觉得伊智厚对金丝草的爱比起具俊表对她的爱来得更无私，更令人为之所动些。
也觉得如果 《花样男子》 里的 F4 若不是有如此超凡的才华，样貌和气质的话，一切的一切就只会是一段再平凡不过的爱情故事而已。

不论如何，安静地守护在一旁的伊智厚和放开了具俊表的夏在景都应该找寻一段真正属于他们自己完整的爱情，因为他们都值得去拥有真正完整的甜蜜和幸福。：）

you closed your hand,
you waited.
you counted to 10.
and then you opened it.

all to realise its no longer there.

flown far away, i guess?
quietly, so gently.
elves, faeries and magic spells -
castles in the air!
you see that?

that, is a thing of the past.
sweetly bitter and bitterly sweet were never quite the same.

dance, on a hilltop filled with chamomile flowers.
hear the bluebells ring.
see the swallows weave through the clouds.

then lie down on the pasture once more,
and slowly drift away,
to that faraway castle in the air.

time and season for everything.
meaning and reason for everything.

see.
wait and see.
learn to wait and see.
learn to wait.
learn.

learn to see.

just as things would never stay clear always,
so will they not remain forever shrouded.

explain, if you wish to be explained to.
save the explanation, if things can't be changed.

some people get it, some just don't.
some don't cos they can't.
some can but they never really want to.

some people wait for someone to understand them.
some people didn't even realise they were waiting for this while they waited.

some people are just content with finding one person who gets them.
this one person can be someone in mind.
this one person may be more than one person.
this one person can be someone they don't know too.

fish know this one.
what a contented little fish :)

let's see for a moment how inspiring the recent spate of events are :)
promising. quite.

there had always been some who want to tell the whole world about a particular something. some of these people eventually did, some didn't.

among these are some who initially want to tell the whole world something, but by the time they reach for their phones, they felt that telling half the world would be enough. and by the time they finish their first calls, they decided they were pretty much done.

there were some who go all the way, nonetheless... good stamina.

fish belongs to the last category, where telling the whole world rarely cross her mind. for any matter, its either important enough to share with just that few particular fishes, write it down in one of her journals (using her fins) or to simply continue thinking about it for a while more then forget about it altogether.

what a self-acknowledged lazy fish.

fish had never really enjoyed listening to some other fishes. but she definitely prefers that to babbling about her own stuff to other fishes who either lack the patience or are of a different wavelength altogether. for she was rather certain that would be quite a waste of time. and, she doesn't really want to subject the other fishes to what she's going through cos she really doesn't enjoy that.

it has always been easier to look as if one's engaged than to try and engage another, particularly if one feels like being neither, no? fish would also ask lots of questions too, just so she need not answer any.

she once tried to really follow her heart and be by herself, but every now and then some other kind and nice fishes (who doesn't know fish well enough) would swim to her and try to talk to her.

therefore one day, just like how social caterpillars start flapping their wings. fish concluded that in order to not let some other fishes worry about her too much, she should still blow some bubbles however much she doesn't feel like making them.

and only when she's surrounded once again by fishes who truly know her well, can she finally be the fish she is. see why fish feels proud to acknowledge the autism in her. and see why deep down, fish still never like new circles, particularly big circles, the smallest bit.

some mingle, some stay at a corner.
some wait patiently just to be understood.
some don't really want to be understood,
some don't really need to be understood.
some decided the fence is indeed quite a nice place to sit on.
some look forward to others filling up their space for them.

and some continue to enjoy swimming in peaceful waters.

each time when small fish meets some other fishes, there's always the distance issue... how close should they position themselves in relatve to each other?

too far away and the fishes can't seem to see or hear each other too clearly. yet being too close, when there's nothing much to be said and done, things get awkward.

therefore it has always been more energy- and time- friendly for small fish to be just by herself, away from the fishes whom small fish is not too familiar with, or whose frequencies varies from that of small fish's, such that no need for spending extra effort to make sure things appear less awkward.

fishes are pretty much fine being just by themselves, aren't they? or perhaps this fish is just in her autistic mode.

today small fish experienced some stuff that made her think more on some other stuffs and then she also begin to wonder if thinking more will ever make a difference, cos if it doesn't, then what's the point of thinking so much? then again, she realised there's no point in not thinking so much either, cos that being part of her nature usually doesn't happen.

so this fish continues to think and wonder for a while and pens down her thoughts, which may matter, and which may not matter.

there are some people who do things just for the sake of doing them while others try too hard to find the meaning and reason behind certain things, that they miss the point in the end. in which for both cases, fish don't really see any point.

then there are some who tried to find stability, but who never realise that stability itself is a form of relativism. then there's this group of people who realises this, but still couldn't find the stability they were looking for.

there are some who should have devoted more of their energy to try and make things happen. yet there are some who tried too hard and so hard that they didn't even realised that they are human beings too and have the right to feel tired.

some people believe they can do it so they did it. but if some people believe that certain things are not there, then they are not there, then why the need for believing in things not being there in the first place?

sometimes, because importance is found behind a series of unimportant things, people begin to wonder if unimportant really is unimportant and who ultimately determines the importance of things eventually.

sometimes because people don't know some things, life is always simple. but what if the person knows there's more but does not push? can life then still be truly simple? or will it be a life that only appears to be simple? and yet, both the person who does not push and the person who does not tell can never know if life on the other side is truly simpler.

some people are busy. some people try to be busy. some people have to be busy.

some people need the experience. some people just need to observe and reflect. but yet it is also possible for both types of people to never truly learn the same real thing at the end of the day.

people tried to see the world through a pin hole. some thought they saw the whole of the world and some thought they only saw parts of it. some rushed inside, some chose to turn away. some opened the door but hesitated about stepping in. some leaned on the wall and wondered. some get their answers eventually, some just doesn't. and all these while, the door of life remain standing quietly.

how does one ever find the right pace in this race of life?
maybe a more appropriate question should be if our small fish can ever find that right pace in the currents which she swims in? i wonder.

in the world which small fish swims, there exists a lot of other worlds. some of these worlds, she likes entering them from time to time, and some of these worlds she doesn't fancy being in there for long... dimension where worlds intertwine is a no-no, for she can never feel the right balance to swim stably.

sometimes small fish wished she was the only fish in the whole ocean so she can minimise lots of complications. she wished life in the ocean could be simpler, too. nevertheless, lucky for small fish, the ocean is still large enough for her to get lost in and hide from other fishes. lucky for small fish, tears are not exactly distinguishable from the waters of the ocean. lucky for small fish, some other fishes don't see too clearly.

why should small fish swim into the part of the ocean she once fought so hard to stay clear of? maybe essentially the problem lies with small fish, she and her specie-ation problem. maybe small fish should just learn to change herself and meet new fishes, but if she can't see the point of doing it, why should she? she is just small fish, and not any other fish, so she shall stay her way, she will, anyway.

things are always simpler when there is only one fish, or with just a few fishes whom small fish really likes to be with. she is just small fish, and not any other fish, so she shall stay her way. she will.

this day, it occurred to fish that her world may really be so very very small indeed. and that because its colours are too defined, she couldn't find any grey areas in it, and yet, the colours blend. there are some who cradle the world in their palms, some who hold the world in their hearts, some who dream about the world in their minds and some who lost their world to the wind. she almost caught a shooting star today, almost. and she almost faded, too. what a big ocean, what a small ocean!

just how far to go before you know you have crossed the invisible line that another has drawn?
just how far to go before you know you should stop?
perhaps really am taking far too much liking and used to being just by myself, now that its simple and problem-free.
double-edge sword?
sped up mellowing of life?


cheers! anyone?

efil.life

you will only know because you don't feel yourself. yet you are looking for the feeling that you can be yourself. what if you never want to feel this conlfict once again and all you want is to omit both feelings and stay yourself? outright conflicting. nah, not really. what you simply seek is either to continue rowing your boat across the peaceful and calm waters or strength enough to sail through storms to come. peaceful and calm waters suits me real fine.

maybe in trying not to lead in the wrongway, you have already decided its best to be alone on the quest. the view just keeps getting wider as you begin comprehending more... and then you realised the only way to simplicity lies in being alone and minimising unpredictability. indeed, everyone has his or her prized moment of enlightenment and clarity.

a butterfly whose wings will never come close to brushing against any flowers or shrubs, for it neither wants to sadden the flower it rested on with its departure nor stay on it, and yet thinks about the white rose somewhere faraway, which no one has heard of. the butterfly simply seeks to complete its quest on its own.

timing has always been crucial, yet its never meant to be planned or manipulated by man. and its only truly right when you feel so, with no planning elements involved. there are some who lost due to hesitation, some due to miscalculation. perhaps what they have lost, they were meant to lose. some gained unexpectedly because the timing was right. yet, perhaps what they have gained were meant to be theirs since the start.

there are some things that you know for sure the timing will be right one day.
there are some things that you know there'll never come a time which is right.

turn around and walk away
til time truly washes all away
and when you're feeling all's afresh
there you begin once again

life.efil

原来因宿命而开始的爱情往往都显得特别浪漫。

原来 人 真的不难被感动。

原来电视连续剧包含了许多人生的哲学和道理，期望和梦想，看了真能体会不少。

原来只要每个人把自己人生所有精彩的部分都剪辑拼凑，都会窜成一部部故事情节高潮迭起的电视剧，扣人心弦。

原来爱的方式有很多种，但大部分都含有不符合逻辑和失去自我的特征。

原来女人在感情里的武器就是情感，男人的则是逻辑和计谋。

原本就不会有人知道下辈子，下一世，生生世世和永远的承诺是否会被遵守，但人们总是听不腻，只要当时说出来时是真心的，都会被感动而相信。

原来两人抓得再紧的手也会有松开的一天。

原来两人再辛苦撑下去的感情也不一定会有完美的据点，但放弃了双方也不一定会幸福。

原来越辛苦走来的爱情越会让人珍惜，越多阻碍的爱情越令人感动。

原来分开并不是很难，只要别有爱和回忆的成分在里头， 因为回忆可以很甜，也可以很可怕。

原来放不下爱情和对爱情执着，只有在双方都彼此相爱的情况下才会幸福，若是一方抓紧，另一方拼命逃，两方都不会快乐。

原来电视剧的故事会让人落泪是因为情结，主角的勇敢和伤痛都唤起了点点滴滴的回忆。

原来松开了的手也能再握紧，只要彼此还爱对方。

原来《豪杰春香》我还真挺喜欢！

no matter how small the distance is, why does it always sound so far away?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

can you tell a sunset apart from a sunrise if you did not see it yourself?
would love to try seeing sunset and sunrise within the same hour one day, by air.

would a day then, have passed me by? have i lost one, or gained one?
if one keeps following the trail of the sun, would that person then freeze time?

what if near is far and far was actually near?
what if the sun was called the moon and the moon, the sun?

what's in a name?
nothing about my everything.

what's in a name? alost?

don't know why you had to come away with me to shoot the moon, find the lonestar, till the long day is over and the nightingale sang, and we waited for the sunrise... and i still don't know why.

don't know why... norah jones

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever
Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road along

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever
Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

somehow greensleeve started playing,
and autumn-feel sets in, leaves begin falling and... all these came to my mind.

a small town in distant autumn

slit a thin line across the horizon, and slide through
all you need to do first is to shut both fine slits

let your mind take you where you can't go
let your heart tell you where you want to go

for once, see not what your eyes want you to see
and hear solely the music your heart longed so long for

you may wish you could stay like this forever
but remember your way home

sometime,
along the way.

a small town in distant autumn
where you were drinking coffee and i was sipping tea

sometime,
along the way.

a small town in distant autumn
where i met you and you found me

how to draw a line again?
where to find the line?
what to see in the line?
that thin fine line.

Love Story... Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say "Yes.'"

Oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

Oh, oh.

We were both young when I first saw you...

pebble picking

water fairy saw a plain pebble one day and picked it up. how interesting she thought. there could be no meaning to the pebble, though it might have a purpose.

there might have been an intention when it was picked up yet its sole meaning depends on both the one who found it and the one whom it ends up with. it can mean something, everything or simply nothing.

times when you wonder what is the point of passing pebbles around when if you can't see the meaning attached to them. times when you pass some pebbles around simply because you had been given some pebbles yourself.

when you know that a pebble is truly different from all other pebbles, that's when you not only see the meaning, but you feel the depth of the intention of the pebble picker.

if you pick a pebble just because its a pebble, then perhaps it might be better to put it back where it belongs.

water fairy thought, if a grain of sand was picked with much thought and effort, then she will treasure it more than a hundred pebbles picked altogether without them.

she gently places the pebble back onto the sand, watch the waves wash over it and walked on.

if a pebble was picked just because its a pebble, then perhaps it might be better to leave it where it belongs. for with or without the pebble, things are pretty much the same.

what a weird water fairy! thought the little pebble silently, as it sits quietly by the sea, enjoying the gently hitting waves.
what a weird water fairy! thought the little grains of sand too.

but that's just our water fairy for you.

will i ever find the balance
that i am never prepared for?

how do we stop to smell the roses
if time keeps walking so fast?

when was it when i started wishing
for non-chalance again?

will there be a day where you give up and start changing,
because you wished too hard for things to stop changing and they never did?

will there be a day where you stop changing,
because you got tired of changing?

if a flower ever weeps
would its petals be its tears?

if a flower ever waited,
what would it have waited for?

if i ever see a shooting star here,
would you see the same one with me over there?

should i wish for time to slow its pace or walk faster?
wish i knew.

story of the three droplets

within the little pandora box of our little water faerie, lay a droplet of pure gold and a droplet of pure silver.

the cross path between the very first shooting star that landed on our earth and the dew drop of the very first morning gave rise to the essence of this silver droplet, henceforth its shine emanated was one of brilliant brightness, white in its purest form and a healing aura the depth of the deepest oceans.

the golden droplet was from the very first ray of the rising sun of the very first morning and found under the most melodic moonlight; for the moon of the past sang such hopeful hymns once upon a time. for this, the golden drop brought forth the most fragrant fragrance and the sweetness of the sweetest honey.

these two droplets tug gently at her heartstrings to lift them up whenever she feels down and soothes her slightest heartaches, if any. they were so precious to her, she held them so close to her heart and treasured them deeply.

the stars told her that there would be a third droplet of liquid crystal, essence drawn form the very first snowflake that fell on the earth and one that would take an eternity to form, under the most delusive lake at the ends of the earth.

there would be swan waiting patiently on thin ice above the lake, the single swan who would know where in the lake rests that liquid crystal, the most beautifully dimensioned and perfectly formed crystal, overflowing with warmness.

the swan awaits the single lady to find it and set it free
an eternity it has waited, an eternity it will continue to wait.

water faerie suddenly opened her eyes and lay down beside the spring.
she gently rests her fingers on the surface on the waters and felt puzzled when she did not see the ripples she expects to.

she leaned forward to take a closer look and to her amazement, she saw the most magnificent swan looking down at her from the reflection. she trace out the form of the swan and paused, when she saw the tear in the eyes of the swan. when the drop of tear finally fell, ripples appeared on the surface of the spring, and the swan was replaced by her own reflection in the waters.

water faerie felt her heart ached tremendously at that very moment, for no logical reason and she missed that swan terribly.

if only those who keep giving will never grow tired of giving.
if only those who receives, will appreciate and be thankful.

too many take for granted
too many ask for justice
too many hold overly high pride
too many mind too much
too many place themselves too central

too many lost that happiness within their reach

happy are those who give but do not realised they are giving.
for once you start realising, its seems to be near impossible:
to not mind at all
to not measure a bit
to not judge
to be true
and to give unconitionally

if love is all that important, why at the heat of the moment will anger overpower love?

yet unless you are certain that you can live a life totally void of love, otherwise giving up trying to love when you are created to love will not bring happiness. just because you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, doesn't mean you have to turn and head back to the other extreme end of this tunnel.

the world is only as bad a place as you made it to be.
the world can also be as nice a place as you wish it to be.

between the line of self-delusion and bitterness, i choose hope.
though there exists the difference between happiness being guaranteed,
and happiness being found in 'hoping' itself.

how would you ever know the beauty of sunrise, if your aim was solely for morning to come faster?
how would you ever know the beauty of sunset, if all you dread was the falling of night and the passing of a day?

time can be a frightening concept.
see how it brings out both the beauty and ugly side of a person within that split second in which human nature was put to the test.
see how it both tears people apart and build the bridge for one to reach the other.
see how you surprise yourself.

the hems of her skirt brushed along,
countless rows of bushes of thorns.
a rose among the thorns, the maiden saw, and pause.

knees on petals of the now ailing rose,
struggling and fighting, to stay.
in the final moments, the maiden uttered a short prayer.
her wings she flapped.

she looked back and, shed a tear.
but who was to know,
how much she had hoped this rose would have seen,
beauty of the world around,
and not the lone world of the thorns surround.

a strong gale, a mighty gust and,
some dancing petals.
the butterfly smiled.

little water faerie saw what looked like the mane of a lion amongst the bushes and decided to go closer. "hi there! are you a lion?" she asked. but the lion simply stared at her and look away. she would have liked to befriend the lion, if only it was less filled with pride, they probably would have become friends.

this day, water faerie spoke to a seashell on the beach, the beach only she knows about.
she waited for the sun to set this evening. it was a quietly, long sunset.

hello.
i am just a small pebble lying on the sand.
i have been lying here for many many years.
when the tide gets strong, i occasionally gets washed upshore.

hi.
i am just a tiny pebble lying on the sand,
where people walk me by.
some of them stops, picks me up,
and throw me back into the sea where i come from.
and once again, i remained submerged in the ocean waters,
till the next strong wave comes.

hello.
i am just a small pebble, lying on the sand.
i see the sun every single day when i open my eyes,
and just before i close them, that's when i see the moon.

hi.
i am just a tiny pebble washed upshore.
i've been lying on the shore for many many years.
good day and nice to meet you.
countless of people walk by me, walk on me or sat with me.

once, a little girl saw me and held me in her palms.
(she probably mistook me for a sea shell.)
she whispered to me a simple wish, which i shall remember for very very long.
(you see, i haven't quite forgotten it yet).
i tried to talk to her,
but she can't seem to hear me.

is it always so, between us and you people?
but she was a nice nice little girl, nonetheless
and it has been pleasing to meet her.

hi.
i am a small pebble lying on the sand.
it has been nice meeting you and,
good day.

as water faerie strolled along the rose bushes today, she heard some rather light fluttering of wings. as she turned, she saw seven beautiful butterflies surrounding her. she saw that each of them was in a colour - red, orange, yellow, green, turquoise, blue and violet, as they circled her thrice. the violet butterfly rested on her wings while the others flew off. a while later, a white one flew towards her and rested on her wings too, before flying off with the violet one. "how wonderful, and interesting!" thought our little water faerie.

the curious case of benjamin button is one movie i will never forget.

by far one of the most aesthetic film with the most beautiful story in years such that i can't help but love every single thing about it. every piece of music in each scene simply swayed me along the passing moments of time in the theater. wonderful wonderful feeling. which continues to resonate even after the second time watching it.

because nothing is truly forever, hence some things are even more beautiful.

story of a single white rose

roses aplenty, none she fancied.
what haughty heart has she!
what guarded heart she has!

day by day,
the queen of whitros sat by her window, waiting.
thinking about a single white rose -
that single white rose.

a perpetual smile she hid,
beneath her rosy cheeks.
the cheeks that were faintly marked,
by some of her very tears.

yet all she truly missed,
was but that single white rose;
that single white rose which she once saw,
atop a lonely mountain.

that single white rose had chosed to reveal its petals during the darkest hour,
on a cold winter night;
that single white rose hadn't shudder or shiver,
amidst the cold, thick snow.

that single white rose had remained standing,
against the howls of gales and gusts;
that single white rose that lasts an eternity,
yet wilts at the very moment plucked.

that moment she held it in her hands, she knew her heart was claimed.
she left through the door of doors and was glad to be back alone.
for that single white rose will never be the same if she hadn't left it there.
hence, there were no regrets.

she was glad for
that single white rose she had fancied,
she will always love,
till the end of time.

as the waning moon takes its resting position for the night, little water fairy took a stroll by the quiet beach; the one she alone knew the way to. squatting on the sand, she began to doodle idly. unknowingly, she had drawn a rather huge ring around herself. she crouched forward, with her folded arms resting gently on her knees, and begin to ponder about the recent spate of events.

that split second where she had looked up was all that was needed for the glowing light source to catch her eyes. she saw for the first time there and then, on that small island some distance away, fireflies dancing! the soft and warm fluorescence dissipated by the ring of fireflies took her breath away and left her in awe for a long time - she had never seen anything so beautiful!

yet, this wonderful sight still wasn't enough to make her wish for time to come to a standstill...

if i could turn back time,
i'll never want to see things more than they are and deeper than most can see it.

if i could pause time,
i wish i'll never have to grow up.

if i could fast forward time,
i wish that you'll never find me and we'll never meet,
for when the day comes for us to be apart,
i'm not sure if i can find the strength to walk on.

i'm only a simple fish who yearns for simple happiness.

story of a little fish.

for she was born of love,
hence she was made to love.
she finally realised that she cannot stop herself from caring,
however burdened she feels, for she was created to be so -
the very day she begins to exist.

this day, our small fish found her cross.

this day, there was an earthquake in the nearby shores where our little fish lived. her small pond was badly shaken. her small pond was where she had happily made her home in, since she swam here some time back.
yet this very day, she heard about this other fish which did not managed to escape from the fateful earthquake and, lost his life.

this day, when she heard the news, she watched other fishes swim by her as if nothing had happened, preoccupied by their own tiny problems and going about their daily business. she heard them brush it off lightly, she heard them joke about it briefly. she didn't understand why she felt so deeply for the poor fish when she hadn't even known him, while others never did.

she couldn't see why other fishes cannot see, that right in front of them, was a fish who swam so hard to reach this little pond, only to find himself being swept off by the single tide he couldn't cross. and what he lost thereafter were countless precious moments which could have been used to build and store beautiful memories in his lifetime.

this day, fish began to question herself if she could ever be like a normal fish at all - with what went on around her, her lamentations were for the loss of an unacquianted fish?! fish began to hope that she could be as non-chalant, or just take it lighter, but she simply couldn't.

this day, fish wondered why other fishes did not see the same world the way she did -
that they all perhaps ever crossed fins once with this fish, who now will never again swim in the same ocean as they do;
that one day, it might be a fish whom they knew, who couldn't escape from another earthquake;
that this fish may have wished to turn back time and swim far far away from this fateful earthquake or pond, but there could never be a 2nd chance for him to choose;
that this fish will never get to say goodbye to his beloved fishes in his true home again.

this day, fish asked herself is she truly wanted others to see the same world the way she did.
she wished they never will.

for only when a fish is focusing on his/her own set of problems, will the problems of other fishes become manageable for him/her. and only when a fish solely cares about how he/she feels, will the emotions and pains of other fishes become much more insignificant, and bearable.

this day, our small fish found her cross.

draw a circle on a pristine beach,
to confine yourself within.
then, step out.

it is still the same beach,
with the circle still on the sand,
and, you are still you.

the world outside the circle hasn't change a bit.

eventually, its is us who have the ability to confine ourselves to stay within non-physical boundaries. yet, we are also the ones who could free ourselves from it.

a bubble and a fish

once upon a time, a small fish lived in a shiny and pretty bubble.

people outside the bubble worried for the little fish. some feared the bursting of her small little bubble one day, while others felt sad for her, for in their minds all they saw was a trapped fish.

but in truth, our dear little fish never really minded. because only she could see the world through her small little bubble, how special! and, she was rather pleased with everything she saw, for they were beautiful. though again she can never be sure if the vibrant colours were from the world itself or her special little bubble.

but she don't really need to know, does she?

there are times where she would wonder quietly what would happen if she ever bump into another bubble one day.

once, she tried crossing a thin bridge spanned across a valley, and it was then when she finally realised that there are just some things that will remain complicated and tough, whether u are inside or outside a bubble.

what are the chances of 2 persons who don't know the existence of each other finding each other on this very same earth at the very same time?

what are the chances of them meeting, if 1 chooses to hide?

... characters of the exact scene can tell so much sometimes.

on the stage, some play a character out of fun, some play it to help a friend. some simply play it to see how certain character suffers according to the scriptwriter.

some gets thrown into the act unprepared, others think of ways to get onto the stage. some play it willingly, some think for a long while to decide whether he/she will sink too deep into the play.

some wonder if some characters are really as simple as they look. some question the effects on the audience and each character after the play.

resounding applause -

what comes after the drawing of the curtain (for each character)?

what an interesting play. isn't life the stage and things that happen to us different acts of changing scenes? interesting play. what marvellous actors and actresses have we - or are we?

story of a small leaf...

once, a small leaf fell into the waters.
it thought nothing changed except that it was wet, on one side.
yet it didn't see the ripples beneath its back.
and hence, it didn't know where they will reach -

if they would cross paths with other ripples or, stop somewhere.

the small leaf didn't know, hence it did not wonder.
it remains contented,
just lying on the waters and being a small leaf.

what ignorant small leaf,
what a blissful small leaf!

initially, the graph of self awareness followed the trend y = 0.1x. however, after a certain point along the x-axis (age), the graph became an exponential function. and i denote this critical point of transition by (self-centredness, selfishness). its formula being "everything is about me, period."

irritatingly, you observe that its the same case with everyone (most people) around you. and even more annoyingly, you realised your own graph is beginning to shape like this as well. and you totally detest this actual becoming of this type of "someone" whom you never liked and would never want to become. argh. totally (O_0) annoyed and irritated.

thank god for the certain few good souls around me that are not like this and don't make me feel like this either. whenever did voicing out become so important to people all of a sudden? why do i feel such a strong distaste to be around people who always speak but seldom listen? could it be because i am also one of them, hence the existence of 2 dominant species?

yet i can still feel the sense of harmonised comfort when that few good souls are around me - our turns to talk and listen are simply so well balanced? i don't really want to listen, therefore i do not want to speak. or perhaps, i don't really want to speak to you, therefore i don't want to listen to you?

but why the want for a response or an acknowledgment? why is it so important to be heard? because you can't find the right person to give you 99% of the right responses you expect to get? perhaps i am biased because i had always been listened to. yet why are there just some people you simply enjoy listening to and sharing with? affinity? play of emotions, mood?

how exactly do you stay unbiased and non-judgmental towards individual speakers? still find this extremely challenging and tiring - to be a nice and good person and at the same time stay true to your thoughts and feelings. sometimes, somehow the guilt following your want for being carefree without attachment just wears you out. can one ever get the right balance, and, even if one does get it one day, will happiness then be guaranteed?


balance.
life is about.
all.

on the wall there was a tiny little crack. if u paid enough attention, it will be spotted. but similar walls were everywhere, and the walls just keep getting taller so that they can feel the wind and that so other walls will not block them. it ended up with every single wall becoming taller and taller, constantly being blocked by other walls and blocking other walls - yet they are essentially still the very same wall (with cracks) that conceal but doesn't protects. what strange walls! what dark cloth it was covered with!

heareth.

atop a lonely mountain i stand -
reflections in the flakes of snow.
mirror my emotions - blank and nought!

if i had yelled would anyone hear me?
if i yell, what would my echo say?
heareth now.
silence.

silence then, silence now.

cold snowy white mountain top,
an ailing sweet rose lay.
what chilling wind!
how cold the night.
still as dead, petals danced.

weird beings,
heareth!
heareth of the wordless voice.
heareth hard -
for my heart's longing -
the soft cotton wool shrouded by large floating clouds.

as i wonder
as i thought
that nothing and nothing
from nothing to nothing
through nothing but nothing.

so will the stillwater flow,
so will the river run.

so will i be claimed.

silence then,
silence now.
heareth.

water faerie took a slow walk by the river one night. she saw a few stars shining ever so brightly across the milky way and stopped by the riverbank. the river glistered silently, reflecting rays of soft moon light from the quiet crescent hanging in the dark sky. her little rabbit friend popped its head out from among the bushes and hopped gracefully onto her lap as she sat herself gently on the grass.

this rabbit was to her, a truly special one. it was as if she felt a connection with it the first time she carried it. and whenever she was with it, no words need to to be said. they could sit like this for hours - if there ever were a time concept in her land at all! yet strangely, this particular night, her heart started humming a song, one that contained a distant memory which she knew she could never recall, because of the promise. "but it must have been a beautiful one." she whispered to herself, that she was certain. and that promise which she had to keep, why couldn't she remember a thing about it at all?

though so, the very next moment, our ever-so-impromptu and slightly mischievous little water faerie, (whose mind is constantly filled with thousands of creative ideas), bounced up from where she was, and invited her special rabbit for a dance. she then raised her right hand to the darkness, and drew a thin line with her fingers, joining the brightest star across the sky (at this very hour) to her special rabbit. she closed her eyes and made a silent wish. and when she opened her eyes once more, she saw him.

just then, a music begins to play itself, and they began their dance - dancing like no one is watching - because there really is no one watching (or so thought our little water faerie). their sliding was graceful, and occasionally a couple of delightful turns and swirls. and little water faerie wondered hard at this familiar dancer leading her along the riverbank. it was as though she ever danced like this before with him. but where? when? his smile felt so dear. yet the memory just slips away each time she tried to hold on. why... after frowning for a while, she finally decided that now should not be the time to think, for in this place, you never know how long the magic will last. so she closed her eyes and followed his lead, and they danced away, into the night.

love thursdays. u simply lose track of time when u are doing something u truly enjoy, whether u are good at it or not doesn't really matter anymore...