a surreal kind of feeling. something which you thought had certain returns came back with loads of bonus is such a great feeling! its so intense and momentarily blinding - i never knew making your loved ones happy could be such great a job to do! especially when its more than one of your loved ones turning to you with smiling faces!

its like as if everything you've done was more than worthwhile - the 1st step is always the toughest and the most important ingredient to success is the support you can find.

've been wondering how do you know if you really like someone or you just miss them because you are used to them being around you? is there a benchmark? hee :D just like how do you differentiate between admiration and liking? hmmz... wonders. can it be really be based on the rate at which your heart beats? how do you know which first time it is? let time tell what is to come.

wikipedia post:
A star is a massive, luminous ball of plasma. Stars group together to form galaxies, and they dominate the visible universe. The nearest star to Earth is the Sun, which is the source of most of the energy on Earth, including daylight. Other stars are visible in the night sky, when they are not outshone by the Sun. A star shines because nuclear fusion in its core releases energy which traverses the star's interior and then radiates into outer space. Almost all elements heavier than hydrogen and helium were created inside the cores of stars.

Astronomers can determine the mass, age, chemical composition and many other properties of a star by observing its spectrum, luminosity and motion through space. The total mass of a star is the principal determinant in its evolution and eventual fate. Other characteristics of a star that are determined by its evolutionary history include the diameter, rotation, movement and temperature. A plot of the temperature of many stars against their luminosities, known as a Hertzsprung-Russell diagram (H-R diagram), allows the current age and evolutionary state of a particular star to be determined.

A star begins as a collapsing cloud of material that is composed primarily of hydrogen along with some helium and heavier trace elements. Once the stellar core is sufficiently dense, some of the hydrogen is steadily converted into helium through the process of nuclear fusion. The remainder of the star's interior carries energy away from the core through a combination of radiative and convective processes. These processes keep the star from collapsing upon itself and the energy generates a stellar wind at the surface and radiation into outer space.

Once the hydrogen fuel at the core is exhausted, a star of at least 0.4 times the mass of the Sun expands to become a red giant, fusing heavier elements at the core, or in shells around the core. It then evolves into a degenerate form, recycling a portion of the matter into the interstellar environment where it will form a new generation of stars with a higher proportion of heavy elements.

Binary and multi-star systems consist of two or more stars that are gravitationally bound, and generally move around each other in stable orbits. When two such stars have a relatively close orbit, their gravitational interaction can have a significant impact on their evolution.

my post:
when you like something, you will tend to find out as much infomation as you can on it... but then again too much facts and information seem to diminishes the creative and imaginative spaces for your own mind to roam about when you don't know anything about it at first? stars?! aren't beautiful things supposed to remain beautiful no matter from which angle you look at it - science or non-factual?

the moon can see me!

can someone from outerspace shoot a star when i look into the dark sky next time? thanks.

happened to read "born on a blue day"... when he was young, he seems so pefectly fine to be without any friends at all. but actually why does it feels wierd if we were to imagine ourselves to be "friendless"? stigma or impression formed since young?

hmmm... actually what are some reasons why friends are important? because they are a source of support? because they just happen to be there when you want someone to spend time with? because they listen to you when you want someone to talk to? because you don't want to be alone?

ever wonder how strong friendship can be when weighed with self interests? what are the boundaries you can push in any friendship? especially today?

low maintenance friendships tend to be able to last longer probably since meeting up once in a while gives you more time to miss each other more and have more topics to talk about as compared to meeting up too often? or because its a kind of friendship where you know you are emotional-burden-free from the daily hassles and problems your friends might face?

how do you judge if a friendship is strong? does the no. of getting-togethers and time spent together matter? or by relativity - as compared to your other friends? does it affect the amount of trust you have for each other?

you probably can have friends you feel comfortable to hang out with all the time and even know their lifestyles and home as well as your own but when it comes to finding someone to share your real burdens with - how often will you talk to them? maybe they don't give you the confidence to cos you know them too long such that you know they are not the kind whom like you to share your problems with them?

if the amount of trust is by relativity - if your friend trusts you more than any of her friends and you know it - but not as much as you trust her - will this affect the friendship? how many friends are you confident will come to your rescue if an emergency crops up at the expense of maybe her life? if you at least have one, then you are probably one of the lucky few.

friendship, most of the time comes second in priority to our family and perhaps love - you probably think yout family is for life so is your future other-halve. once again, if you have at least one friends whom you can imagine keeping in contact and growing old with together till the day maybe when your children are big then once again, you are probably one of the lucky few.

but of course you can't imagine your life without all of your friends either - to talk, to play, to slack, to plan, to lame, to eat, to sing, to bicker, to think of.

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road along

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come

I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

everyone needs to find their own terabithia... really love this bittersweet story and movie... the characters and their world of adventure... a must watch! but its kind of sad afterall that very few have the courage like them to venture into terabithia, especially here. you'll probably be bringing in many appalled faces if you should find your own terabithia... just like how so many kids were taught that fairytales never exist. can't kids just have a go at their imaginative and creative minds? the reality will eventually sink in when they grow up, so why not just let them live in a fun and relaxed happily-ever-after?

its intriguing how we react so differently to people around us, how we carry ourselves and all - why we come up with different decisions on the same matter at different times. why we have so many sides of ourselves? do all the sides add up to the one “me”? or are we just a mixture of others’ shadows – of all who are around us? like putting on who we think best at the moment in time and act through with it? are we just tired of being ourselves all the time so that its time to change at every chance we have? or maybe there isn’t a “me” to begin with.

perhaps the more new things happen to us the more we tend to start exploring more sides. perhaps everyone is not even sure ofwho everyone else is and who they really are. it can be really tiring to have acquaintances at times and yet you can't be without them at other times. i like the idea of being alone sometimes as i don’t need no reactions at all. a whirlwind of thoughts and tangled web of relations in my mind.

i am the same me but different to everyone else. can i ever learn to trust totally? can i even trust myself? with age and different experience we are exposed to, we just grow and learn to take on new sides in life. maybe things never change but the people do. linking and relating is so tiring… perhaps i am simply solitary yet afraid of solitude at some point in time. perhaps i am beginning to change and yet resisting it. the beginning of change is marked by feeling of inadequacy and over-rush of changing tides. maybe time will pass and i am still me. waves of torrents does not affect what the heart wishes to stay the same.

what happens when there are times where you know you should be feeling in a certain way and yet you are not and why are there times when you know you should do something and yet you dun feel like doing it at all. i miss being one with the ocean like a fish and never reminded of the botherous things. someday beyond sea somewhere waiting for me…